England celebrate as Australia's Xavier Doherty is bowled by England's Graeme Swann. AAP Image/Dean Lewins
“We’re going terribly, we’re going awfully, I can’t believe they said that, and I’m not sure we’re going to turn up on Friday.” As predictions go, this must rank as one of, if not the, best pieces of crystal ball gazing I’ve come across.
I’m sure that Tim Neilson, in his response to negative coverage of his team’s efforts at the Gabba, was attempting to portray a heavy line in cynicism, but he should start buying lottery tickets in vast quantities with that kind of ability and put down his coaches hat for good.
Not only are the Australians, as Neilson acutely observed, going terribly, they actually – Michael Hussey and Brad Haddin the notable exceptions – didn’t turn up on the aforementioned Friday.
And the result is that they face a mountain to climb if they are to reclaim the urn.
It would have been easy, as both Ricky Ponting and Andrew Strauss did, to play down the influence that any momentum claimed in Brisbane would have had on the second Test.
After all, England had to dig out a draw and, as poorly as Australia bowled in the second innings, these things do happen.
But with the evidence of five days in South Australia fresh in the memory, it is clear that both Ponting and Strauss were taking all of us for fools.
England had obviously assumed the ascendancy and Australia had neatly slotted into the role of whipping boy.
That must have been what transpired over days four and five in Brisbane because if you can think of a better explanation then I’m all ears.
Form is a fleeting thing, it comes and goes without much in the way of warning, but I’m still at a loss to fathom out how one side can go from control to virtual submission in a week and the other can press the accelerator and assume dominance of a rarely seen magnitude in the same time frame.
The Adelaide Test was a complete reverse of the bad old 1990s when any Mark Taylor/Steve Waugh (delete as appropriate) led side drubbed whatever English XI stood in their way.
Under-par first innings, rack up a massive total at will and then let your spinner loose to pick his way through whatever resistance is offered.
And if that doesn’t provide a threatening wake-up call to the Australian selectors then I don’t know what will.
There comes a time when something has to give and the few days before battle recommences at the WACA is that time.
Constant chopping and changing does nobody any favours but I fail to see what option the powers that be have. Andrew Hilditch and co are in the position that no gambler wants to find himself in – they are chasing their losses.
To stick could lead to ruin but to twist holds no guarantees of the desired outcome.
So what to do? Recall Johnson? Hauritz? Hughes? Hilfenhaus? All of them?
Australia are teetering on the edge with their eyes down rather than up and, as things stand, there doesn’t appear to be any way out of a mess that has been, for the large part, self-inflicted.
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