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Barmy Army already celebrating Ashes win

Roar Rookie
27th December, 2010
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The little general, Vic Flowers, has risen to lead a chant that is more irritating to Australia than ever. “We are the Army, the Barmy Army ….. ”

With his back to the play and his over-sized, red-and-white top hat crowning his all-England outfit Flowers, 58, conducts the mob for the first time on a day that has rolled slowly but surely in England’s direction.

They have been encouraged into action by the third umpire who has turned down an Australian appeal for a catch behind prompting Australian captain Ricky Ponting to complain at length to both umpire and opposition.

“He’s a prat is your Ricky. Short man,” says Flowers, who needs to stand on a seat to be seen.

As Flowers, aka Jimmy Savile, thrusts a fist holding a replica Ashes urn skywards for a third chorus of the chant, the Barmys are cut short by another appeal.

Ponting looks like he’s got Jonathon Trott run out with a throw from near the boundary.

For the second time on day two, a referral to the third umpire goes against the Australians and the Army rubs it in.

“Wouldn’t have mattered, mate,” says the nearest Barmy.

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“We’ve got you lot well stuffed.”

He’s right, but not in the nicest way.

Day two of the fourth Ashes Test at the MCG is a relatively tame one for supporters from both sides as England increases its first innings lead toward 300.

“Most of ’em lost their voices yesterday,” Flowers said.

“Too many Aussie wickets.”

Thanks to the strength of the Australian dollar, the 3,000-strong Barmy Army is present in diminished form on this Ashes Tour.

“Last time we were here we were getting about $2.50 for a quid,” says “Bulldog”, an Army veteran of three Ashes tours.

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“Now it’s only $1.60, we’ve had to cut down on food.”

Not on beer.

England players have acknowledged the Barmy Army’s support, which is delivered not only in Australia, but on every England Test tour, even in Pakistan where alcohol consumption is banned unless you have a doctor’s certificate declaring you an alcoholic.

As tradition now dictates, the Army and its accomplished trumpeter Billy Cooper opened Day One of the MCG Test with a rendition of Jerusalem, the patriotic hymn that relates the mythological visit of Jesus to England.

They filled in the brief periods between wickets with a jaunty “You all live in a convict colony” sung to the tune of Yellow Submarine and a slightly treasonous “God Save Your Queen”.

“There’s nothing better than sticking it up you Aussies,” says the Bulldog.

“Except when our boys do it out there on the ground.”

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Which, on the first two days, they have done frequently.

So frequently that the Barmys, and everyone else in Melbourne for the cricket, are already looking at alternative plans for Wednesday and Thursday.

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