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When did Ricky Stuart begin his career as a comedian? It seems to have slipped under the radar here in NSW, but apparently his work is highly popular in Queensland.
This gag he keeps telling about Tony Williams being under serious consideration for game one of Origin is the pinnacle of his comic stylings.
Seriously, can somebody assure me that I’m not cuckoo? Is this not so completely bonkers that it’s hilarious?
There’s no doubt that Williams is a devastating force that our state side needs. But it comes with the teeny weeny stipulation that requires he be match fit.
Before he flipped Isaac de Gois like a navigator vigorously steering a ship, he was an extremely attractive selection contender. A hardened premiership player with international experience who was bending defensive lines with raw aggression and would’ve definitely been on track to be in the 17 for the opener in Melbourne.
But the repeated mention of his name now this close to selection time should be nothing more than Sticky giving him a reassuring consolation hug to remind him that he’s a valuable part of the blueprint for later in the campaign.
However, the whispers are growing louder that it isn’t a token coaching embrace to galvanise his confidence. The word is the T-Rex may be pushed to the head of the queue with no miles in his legs and called upon to play.
If Stuart follows through and completes this dinosaur-sized gamble by handing Williams a jumper, then I hope there’s some tapes of canned laughter to be on hand for the press conference where the squad becomes known.
I’ll also be expecting the theme music to Seinfeld to be playing as the team is read out.
Throwing a debutant to Maroon lions for his first hit-out in 10 weeks will have our detested neighbours up north giggling into their horrible tasting mid-strength beer like a satisfied mass at an open mic night.
Are Stuart and the side-splitting panel contractually obligated to pull at least one headline-busting selection story every year?
Hasn’t the novelty of the New South Wales left-field call lost it’s gloss among the last six excruciating years of bugger-all success?
What makes this even more puzzling is the fact that the back row stocks are one of our deeper reserves with a burgeoning number of candidates coming out of the sky blue proverbial. If there was a shortage, then by all means break the emergency glass. But the fact is that there’s a surplus of good cattle in Williams’ category.
Surely one of the other available options who have been bruising and busting in the top grade right up until selection time are better equipped to deal with the unique demands of the state contest.
What do we think if Williams is found desperately sucking oxygen out on the wing after 10 minutes because he can’t hack the pace?
Laughter will definitely not ensue, unless of course you bend bananas.
And there may be an immense chorus of booing for Ricky’s Seinfeld routine.