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It’s a sad fact of life that no matter how good the sport, how high the stakes or how awesome the match-up, there will always be some snooty naysayers who turn up their noses at a magnificent sporting feast.
Occasionally though there are those sporting events that are so big, so outlandish and so bloated with hype that the naysayers are forced to turn and look.
The NFL Super Bowl is such an event.
By far the biggest sporting event on the US calendar, the Super Bowl transcends all barriers of society.
From dubious beginnings, it is now an international juggernaut devouring all viewers and dollar signs in its path.
It is however on a Monday down under, and with sickies at a premium, some sports fans may be thinking about giving it a miss.
Perish the thought!
Here are five reasons why you need to clear the four hours from your schedule next Monday and watch the Super Bowl.
1. The Harbowl
The city of Baltimore and San Francisco may be about as far apart as you can get in the US, but their football sides do have one common denominator- a Harbaugh.
Even for a sport that has had more Hollywood films dedicated to it than World War II, having two brothers square off as head coaches in the season decider is a little far-fetched.
But, nonetheless Jim and John Harbaugh will be the men going berserk on the sidelines come Monday morning.
Will they shake hands? Will they have a bust up post match? Will the loser complain to their Dad? It’s an armchair psychologists deconstructed dream!
2. The quarterbacks
Even the occasional NFL fan knows the deal here: the quarterback runs the team and takes home the prom queen. This year things are a little different though.
To dip into the bottomless sports cliché bucket San Francsico’s Colin Kaepernick and Baltimore’s Joe Flacco are the fire and ice of the NFL.
Kaepernick is a tattoo-covered young upstart wowing the crowd with his natural ability, while Flacco is the heavily pillared workhorse striving to prove he deserves to be among the game’s ‘elite’, all while boring the paint off a white picket bat turd.
Make no mistake you’re going to hear about these guys a lot during the game, and whether they’re airing it out or getting sat on their arse, it will sure be entertaining for us.
3. The talking point
Occasionally the quarterback needs a hand and will hand the ball to the other blokes.
This is great, and inevitably throws up at least one memorable moment every Super Bowl for which the game is forever remembered by.
The chewing gum helmet, Garo’s goof, Wes Welker’s drop. All of these single events are magnified beyond all significance of the other 59:55 of the match traumatising the players involved and giving the audience a social point of reference.
Essential water-cooler fodder.
4. The half-time show
Perhaps I’m old fashioned, but for most sports’ half-time spectaculars I’ll save up something other than my undivided attention, particularly after two plates of buffalo wings, three chilli dogs and a six pack of Millers High Life.
The Super Bowl is different though, and its half time show remains the yardstick against what all choreographed lip-syncing is judged.
It really does need to be seen to be believed, if only for the stuff that inevitably gets blurred out when replayed on the nightly news highlights real.
5. Everything else
The marching bands, the outrageous over analysis, the players bouncing around like teenagers on the first night of schoolies, a national anthem rendition that’ll make you wear your dark sunnies inside and yes, even the stupid ads.
Everything about the Super Bowl is bigger, louder and brasher than anything else the world of sport can conjure up.
And as a bonus it should be a ripping game to boot!
Yes, there certainly is something for everyone, and faced with the above there is no ascertainable reason you wouldn’t watch the match.
Unless of course instead you’re instead following The Roar’s live blog of the event with yours truly come game day, in which case I look forward to your company.
Let’s play some football!
Follow Chris on Twitter @Vic_Arious
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