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This article picks the unenviable task of keeping an eye on the relative fortunes (and inevitable misfortunes) of the ‘Les Miserables’ in the second string eleven, who were unable to crack Ashes squad and were hence, confined to a tour in the sunny climes of the sub-Saharan African winter.
While the world is held spellbound and is in awe of the antics, myriad twists and turns at Lord’s, a motley crew of Aussies turned up almost unnoticed in Harare for a fixture against the Zimbabwe XI, in preparation for a tour series in South Africa.
Thinking about it, it is necessary for them to stay in good nick, in case an unfortunate Twitter remark or a risque Facebook status update renders an incumbent Ashes tourist as surplus to requirements.
These men, the tourists on the nether end of the cricketing spectrum, have the not-so-insignificant and much maligned David Warner in their ranks, who by the way is a social network sinner confined to a penitence of sorts in aforementioned sunny climate and away from the preferred, more fashionable overcast conditions which make the ball move literally at right angles, in contrast to the sedate bowling of the military medium-slow Zimbabwean pitches.
Fast forward to the opening day of the 3-day match in Harare and Warner found himself in the thick of things with Nic Maddinson packed for 8 and Aaron Finch out for 11.
With Kyle Jarvis breathing fire and the pitch dry, the stage seemed set for a man desperate to get back within the good books of the selectors and perhaps, a look-in when things go bad.
“No problem”, one would think. “What a pleasure”, he would have been overheard mumbling as he cast his Greek god-like gaze in disdain at a field setting he last lost a wicket to while he was in school.
Nine balls, nine minutes, a two run shot, a boundary and six dot balls later, Jarvis had him caught behind for six.
Not good.
Or is it?
The mega flaw that knocked him out of the good books of the Dark Lords in the esteemed corridors was his demi-god aura that needed him to be pegged down a notch.
Perhaps, the deafening silence that greeted his perceived failure with the bat against mundane opposition is the jolt he needed to get him back to a state where his hunger to succeed is greater than his narcissistic tendencies.
And you, the taxing paying, season ticket buying, fantasy cricket conquering observer will have a stake in helping him to get back to where he ought to be, that is, on the centre stage and competing with Jonathan Trott for the prize as cricket’s most annoyingly brilliant performer.
Then somewhat off the beaten track, with the Zimbabwean population grinning from ear to ear as the late news surfaced that Australia had presented their belly at 226 runs, a cautious optimism had us all grasping for the latest scores and proceedings.
Imagine the horror of being greeted with a close of play board reading 5-82!
So, isn’t this Zimbabwe XI the exact same group of kids playing front-line internationals? It is.
It is also the same country that has produced the likes of Andy Flower, Duncan Fletcher, Murray Goodwin, Sean Irvine et al, all decent batsmen in their time and now, fully incapable of chasing down any total greater than the sum of my fingers, toes and teeth.
What has changed so much, you ask?
The development programs in the schools are barely in tandem with the national governing body’s strategic plan and the best available coaches are not engaged by the state to work where they may deliver with the greatest possible impact. Instead, they go where the remuneration is, and that is with the elite private schools.
This leaves the majority of kids to be mere pretenders in the game of cricket as they do not get the full range of skills development training. Their season only lasts a mere five months in a year, with time being shared between Rugby, Hockey, Athletics and academic examination preparations.
To compound the problem, schools matches are predominantly 20 over matches, with scores tending to range between 60 and 90 runs in an innings.
As you may notice, this will not develop a kid’s ability to occupy the crease meaningfully and it has been ages since one last heard of any batsman scoring a double hundred in school, club or franchise cricket.
So, in reading of the events in Harare and following the travails of a certain Mr. Warner, be a little kinder in your view of the opposition and spare a thought for a the cricket lovers who only get to savour the beauty of a cricketing success when they back another country to win in a home series.
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