Parramatta’s next coach - let’s think outside the square!

Expert

13th October, 2013

1716 Reads

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Not even Mr Perpetual Motion could move the Eels board forward. AAP Image/Paul Miller

Chris Chard

Expert

13th October, 2013

1716 Reads

Rugby league has just fallen into the post-NRL, pre-World Cup wasteland, but already footy fans are agonising over a number of hypotheticals.

Are the 2013 Roosters better than the 1975 version? Will Sam Tomkins be the next Chris Thorman?

And what poor deluded fool is going to coach the Eels next season?

As you may well be aware currently the warring factions of the Parramatta board are warring over whether they should appoint Jason ‘Sensei’ Taylor or Brad ‘Bandicoot’ Arthur to the position that members of the police bomb disposal unit describe as ‘quite stressful’.

While both mentors have their merits, Taylor’s black belt for starters, it is of my opinion that the blue and golds might need to dig a little bit deeper.

If they have a moment in between staging coups over what type of coffee they use in board meetings, I have compiled what I believe is a worthy list of ‘left-field’ candidates for the Parramatta head honchos to argue over from sports other than rugby league.

Ric Charlesworth
If you want to be the best you have to hire the best, and former Hockeyroos and Kookaburras boss Charlesworth is regarded as the best coach in Australia whose name doesn’t start with ‘W’ and end with ‘ayne Bennett.’

Aside from defeating the Mighty Ducks there’s little Ric hasn’t achieved in Hockey, not to mention working in official capacities in both cricket and Aussie Rules.

Granted Parra would be hard pressed to win a man like Charlesworth’s services, but surely they should have some coin leftover from not signing a halfback for the last decade?

James Hird
For those hiding under a rock on Mars with peptides stuck in their ears, Essendon Bombers coach James Hird has been told by the AFL to sit out the next twelve months on the basis of fallout from the ASADA investigations.

This makes Hird a perfect fit to coach the slippery Eels in 2014.

For one the bloke has shown he can coach, handle a lot of external pressure and best of all, will only be available for a year.

So in many ways he’s just like Ricky Stuart…except that he can coach and handle external pressure.

Guus Hiddink
It is widely known that superstar football coach Hiddink is a man who loves to travel the world chasing a challenge. And, y’know, dump trucks of Euros.

While the Socceroos may be angling for the flying Dutchman, why wouldn’t he go for the grand Daddy of basket cases in Parramatta?

While it’s not really known how much Hiddink actually knows about rugby league, he appears well versed at looking stern in a suit and shouting his way through press conferences, meaning he would be fantastic at the Eels.

Actually maybe he’d be a better fit for Manly….

Robbie Deans
Ex-Wallabies coach Deans got the shaft after some average results, a falling out with the five-eighth and when it was found out he was born in New Zealand.

Although the whole New Zealand thing may be an issue thanks to Stephen Kearney, a falling out with Eels five-eighth Ben Roberts and a winning percentage of 58% would at the moment be seen as a good result by most Eels fans.

Ray Price and Brett Kenny
Ha ha…no seriously let’s stick to realistic suggestions here people…

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