Any thoughts of England’s comfort in the first Ashes Test after the first day’s play were left shredded by an afternoon session worse (depending on your point of view) than anything witnessed in the dark days of the 1990s.
Not since Melbourne in 1990-1991, when England lost their last 6 wickets for 3 runs, have England capitulated so completely in an Ashes Test.
Having been 55 for 2 at lunch, England dragged themselves into the tea break two hours and 25 overs later bloodied and barely operable, 94 for 8. The last nine and a half overs had been a blitzkrieg, seeing all 6 of those wickets fall for 9 runs.
Considering how possible things had appeared for England less than an hour previously, it was as near a complete rout as possible.
Carberry and Pietersen had been set. The new ball’s shine had gone after twenty overs and Australia’s bowlers were only occasionally testing the batsmen. There had been a sense that they needed a wicket. Carberry, especially, was leaving well and looked the most composed of all batsmen so far in the Test.
There had inevitably been excitement as Pietersen had walked out after lunch, the second fastest to 100 Test caps for England, in 8 years and 123 days. Only Andrew Strauss was quicker but both will presumably be bested by Cook in the third Test at Perth.
Perhaps out of frustration at the slowness of Carberry’s adjusting to Nathan Lyon’s spin, Pietersen looked to become impatient. The run rate had fallen below 3.
A couple of run out opportunities revealed differences in opinion and Pietersen was lucky to be dropped by Siddle off his own bowling when on 8. It could have been the rub of luck in his landmark Test but as it transpired he has to take much of the responsibility for what came next. Imagine the theme music to Jaws.
Just when England had been looking to get ahead, Pietersen, following 13 dot balls, hit Harris straight to Bailey at midwicket for 18 at 1:43pm. Like the falling of each wicket had perceptibly been in the Test up until that point, it drew the scores about level with England 82 for 3.
Ian Bell walked out to a familiar situation. During the first four Ashes Tests earlier this year, when the urn was still being competed for in the northern series, the third English wicket had fallen on average for 70.
Australia either had a plan for Carberry, prompting the question as to what took Michael Clarke so long to try to execute it, or they had exhausted all other options. England had only scored 30 in an hour and a half and Carberry had faced 22 balls on 40. Then Johnson came around the wicket to the left hander and bowled wide-angled and short. It almost worked to the short leg trap immediately, and then to Haddin with an attempted hook with the second ball.
After 36 minutes without scoring the third ball did for the England opener, caught at first slip off Johnson. It was cricketing relief for Clarke and a big moment as Australia sensed fragility with England 87 for 4 and definitely chasing with two new batsmen, Bell and Root, in the middle.
Bell was not able to continue his Alamo form and was caught at short leg off Lyon and England were taking water at 87 for 5. There was a huge appeal the next ball for a duplicate dismissal of Prior but Lyon didn’t move. Steve Smith’s flabbergasted appeal convinced the first use of DRS in the match and Prior was out for his third first ball duck of 2013.
England’s batting was in tatters at 87 for 6 and, stranger than fiction, Stuart Broad had to face the hat trick ball. It was a waste, too wide to be of any interest to anyone, but Lyon, who had deserved a wicket following his strangulation of Carberry, had a double wicket maiden and figures of 2 for 2.
Root, moved back down to 6, was unable to provide any assistance on the burning deck and was caught at second slip by Smith, who had taken 3 catches in 9 balls, off Johnson. 89 for 7 and 8 shy of avoiding the follow-on. England were running for tea and the canyons like US Marine pilots dogfighting aliens in Independence Day.
With another looped dolly to short leg, Graeme Swann also went, he at 2:37pm. Although he was unlucky as it had been a no ball no one had noticed in time. It completed the coup de main and obliterated any memories of yesterday.
If they had had plans, England ignored them. If they adhered to them, they were wrong plans. They now haven’t reached more than 400 in their last 16 innings. Indeed, out of their last 48 innings they have only passed that magic number eight times.
Things had looked business-like for them before lunch. Broad took his sixth wicket, Harris leaving too late and glancing off his withdrawn bat through to Prior. Haddin, seeking his century and seemingly distrusting of the number 11, Lyon, went on a flat-batted charge. He was run out for 94, completing the Australian first innings on 295. Broad, acknowledging his 6 for 81, was inevitably heckled off the pitch by the crowd.
Australia’s initial opening spells had not looked threatening until Cook was snared in what is now a typical way for him by Harris. The Australian, returning Broad’s favour to Clarke, has taken his wicket six times in the last eight Tests.
However, like yesterday, the over before lunch affected the momentum. Australia managed to start a final over with the clock being kept from 1pm by already whirring cogs. With his first ball, Johnson exposed Trott’s weakness against short leg side bowling and gave Haddin his two-hundredth Test dismissal.
It was surprising that for a man known for his sloth, Trott did not try more overtly to delay proceedings to prevent having to face another over from Johnson, which he clearly wanted to avoid.
With only two England wickets left to take after Tea Australia looked to make more of a point than take them with short and fast bowling. Unsurprisingly Tremlett relented, caught well by Lyon at leg gully. Broad was eventually caught hooking to Rogers at midwicket off Siddle for 32 and England were all out for 136, 159 behind, in 52 overs.
They had avoided their lowest ever completed innings total at the Gabba by 2 but had been bowled out for less than 200 in the first innings for the fifth tour in a row. Harris had 3 for 28 off 15 and Lyon 2 for 17 off 9. Siddle 1 for 24.
One of Australia’s two danger statistics had remained consistent. Mitchell Johnson fired with the ball after scoring runs, ending with 4 for 61. The stage is now set for Michael Clarke to maintain his excellent record at the Gabba.
Australia talk far more coherently and convincingly when they do it with bat and ball and lead by more than 200 for 0 at the close. Save a revolution in cricketing affairs, the bastion of the Gabba is almost certainly safe for another year.
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