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East coast, far north, south and west – there were AFL victors all round Australia on the weekend, but even in a shortened Round 9, some wins were far bigger than others.
The five footballing states each produced a decisive result – but whose was most significant? If you’re smoking what I’m rolling, it has to be the potency of the Purple Haze.
I’ve met Colombian street dogs less patchy than Fremantle’s start to 2014, but the Grapes of Ross reminded themselves that they know how to play, producing a win for the mighty 300-game milestone of Matthew Pavlich.
For much of his career Pavlich has played Homer’s Hector: noble and doomed, the solitary champion standing between his coastal town and slaughter. Lately, though, Fremantle have become the Greeks, with Ryan Crowley and Hayden Ballantyne exactly the kind of cunning jerks that side was famous for.
When I said mid-game that Geelong’s Cameron Guthrie was working like a Trojan, that included the assumption he was headed for defeat.
There’s no denying now that Fremantle have a hold over Geelong. It started in 2012, when they riled ultra-cool fullback Matthew Scarlett so badly he socked Ballantyne on the chin. Freo beat the Cats in an MCG final with a furious start, then did the same next season at Kardinia Park.
Their start on Saturday was similar, slamming on goals after some drab and dour weeks. That sort of play brings their fans to life, and makes life that much harder for visitors. As the mischievous little satyr Ballantyne skipped one way and then the other, fording a distinctly mortal Jared Rivers to send a winged ball whirring home, a crowd purple as wine-stained lips writhed in Dionysian fervour.
Well in touch with the top four, the Dockers now play nine of the bottom ten teams in a row.
There was a big win in Adelaide, too, the Crows swamping the fancied Magpies. Attention after the game was on Collingwood missing shots, but Adelaide missed more. They also kicked more, which often proves helpful.
The Magpies managed one goal in the second half, so whether the Crows scored after the three-quarter-time siren isn’t worth discussion. The point is Adelaide’s loss to Melbourne is now forgotten. The Crows have inched up to 10th, their highest spot this season, and only a game off the eight.
Sydney’s task wasn’t as tough, but having recently beaten Hawthorn and Fremantle, consolidating against a mid-tier team in Melbourne was as important. A laser-guided 18.6 made it a formality.
Having sat as low as 14th, Sydney have levitated to the top three by winning five in a row. Geelong and the Gold Coast could surpass them with a game in hand, but the Swannies are back in the region where they belong.
Far from a winner, though, was Essendon’s reputation, after some of their fans decided to boo an umpire who had been knocked out and was being stretchered off the field. Presumably on weekdays they hang around hospital car parks and pelt batteries at nurses arriving at work.
Quick hypothetical. You reckon Essendon fans would boo a coach if it was found that he used his players as pharmacological guinea pigs?
— Jordan (@wittsjw) May 16, 2014
Sunday was massive for Gold Coast, precisely because they were expected to beat the Saints and they did. It shows how much the Suns have matured. Far from slipping on a banana peel, they were 56 points up before half time.
All season I’ve been amused by the anomaly of Gold Coast in the top eight. Now, after nine rounds of football, they sit firmly fifth in their own right, and are mere percentage points off the top two. They’ve actually turned into a football team.
They’re still liable to be schooled by the top teams, as Hawthorn showed, but they’re right in the mix against the middle tier.
Admittedly they’ve had a friendly run, and face Hawthorn, Collingwood, Geelong, Sydney and a trip to Perth for the Eagles. But even writing those off, they could still finish with 13 or 14 wins and a finals tilt.
Nor would you be surprised to see them fall in a heap, but with talk that Gary Ablett is about to sign on for two more years, it’s a great time to keep the inspiration going and repay the skipper’s faith.
Finally, there was the MCG on Saturday.
“Tommy Hafey was, in every sense of the word, a true immortal,” said an ABC pundit in the pre-game memorial, apparently failing to grasp anything that has ever happened in the English language.
The talk was all about Richmond honouring their late premiership coach, but Melbourne’s Paul Roos said that as a football person, his side owed Hafey a performance as well.
They delivered, approaching each contest with greater intensity and forcing the Tigers wide. Jack Watts’ interview after the game told the story: suddenly Melbourne are enjoying their football.
They’ve won three so far, and only against Hawthorn given up the kind of score Roos wanted to stamp out. Better, they’re functioning as a team: Jeremy Howe adding verve down back, Chris Dawes and Cam Pedersen building up front, Nathan Jones finally getting some midfield support.
The Dees have run on the whiff of hope for years, but it’s starting to look like the smell might have a source. Richmond, conversely, are finding that substance in short supply. Damien Hardwick looked on the verge of breaking down after the game – for all his insistence that fans suffer most, this industry is by far hardest on its coaches.
Most observers would nominate Richmond as suffering the weekend’s worst loss: against a supposedly inferior team while desperate to salute a club champion, they kicked 29 scores to Melbourne’s 21, but lost by nearly three goals.
But the idea of ‘doing it for so-and-so’ is absurd – how can an athletic contest depend on external events? It doesn’t matter if it’s the week after someone dies, a coach is sacked, a cousin wins the CWA cake fair, or a half-forward flanker gets new sensor lights installed in his driveway. Wanting to win has no bearing when everyone wants to win, just like praying in the trenches doesn’t help when the other side is doing it too.
The Tigers’ season was already in a world of hurt, and a win here would have been purely analgesic.
In season terms, I’d call Geelong’s the worst loss. The Cats were ladder-leaders after five rounds, but two listless defeats have dropped them to fourth. They could climb to third while the Swans have a spell, but that would require beating North Melbourne, who’ve also given the Cats a few problems of late.
Geelong’s win-loss record over eight seasons is incredible, but especially in the last three, the Cats have been susceptible to slow starts. They don’t lose often, but when they do, they look incompetent for a quarter or a half, then can’t drag themselves into a match.
Giving this much confidence to Fremantle could come back to bite them later in the year, while giving up ground to their other rivals will do the same. Only half of Geelong’s 14 remaining games are relatively easy – they’ll need to produce their best to stay top four by season’s end.
Collingwood also copped a heavy hit, slumping from fifth to eighth against a side mired in the league’s depths for most of the year. A win would have had the Magpies just outside the top four on percentage, with four modest opponents to come.
Once again, a team aspiring to contender status tripped themselves up. But on the evidence of the past fortnight, even the top few have doubts swirling around.
Port Adelaide are flying but could still lose an engine, Hawthorn face a few weeks missing too many key personnel, Geelong’s young brigade will grow weary with their tough run ahead, and Fremantle have flickered on and off like an old TV.
Only the Swans are in convincing form at the moment, but with the Bloods these days, it’s always a question of what Buddy Franklin is going to crash into next.