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It's not just superheroes who deserve their own round

Roar Guru
16th July, 2014
4

Between the AFL and the NRL there is now Indigenous, Close the Gap, Multicultural, Heritage, Rivalry, and Women in League rounds.

Never one to appear stagnant, this weekend the NRL is putting on what is effectively Superhero round.

Don’t get me wrong, everyone undoubtedly deserves to have their own day in the sun and having a Superhero round in no way, absolutely not-at-all whatsoever, diminishes or cheapens the importance of, say, the Close the Gap round.

So, in honour of the new and powerful-sounding Superhero round, I’ve come up with a few more ideas that the AFL, NRL or both could take up to add a bit more spice to those garden variety rounds that don’t yet have a marketing angle.

Sponsors round
In sponsors round, the kit is designed by each team’s major sponsor. Who wouldn’t love to see a team run out in a full Tom Waterhouse teal? Now that’s a jersey that’d go straight to many a pool room across this great country.

What about Collingwood heading out in Etihad beige? They could complete the look with each player wearing a handmade Moroccan-red fez and white silk scarf during the warm ups.

The Cronulla Sharks could just play in the nuddy!

Mother’s day round
All players would be forced to wear headgear and shoulder pads. In the NRL, two-hand touch rules would be applied. In the AFL, whatever rules are in place for the Auskick program would be utilised i.e. there are no rules and everyone gets a kick.

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Father’s day round
Fathers from each team would watch distractedly from the sidelines while sinking beers. As part of the half-time entertainment, dads from opposing teams punch-on with each other.

At three-quarter time a nominated dad gives a rousing and abusive speech to players, degrading their effort and threatening to make them walk home “cos I’ve got better things to be doing than this” if they don’t start putting in.

Umpires or referees’ round
Spectators are forced to give a standing ovation for at least two full minutes at every break while the umpires or referees bask in the sincere and forthright admiration of the general public. Anyone who boos must be ejected from the ground.

The expected low occupancy rate could be offset by increased food and beverage prices, which fans would arrive to find had not been reduced the following week. A bit of sneaky revenue raising doesn’t seem out of place for a themed round.

Player value round
Players would wear the team jersey in a colour that reflects their value to the club, with top players wearing the strongest colours and the worst wearing faded out kit.

For example, Buddy Franklin would wear the brightest fire-truck red Swans jersey available, while Sam Reid would be in a baby pink version of the same strip.

Player value could be voted on by the fans or, more interestingly, their opponents for that week.

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Kids’ round
In this round, a nominated child fan from each team paints whatever they’d like for their nominated club’s strip. Who wouldn’t want to see the North Melbourne Flying Unicorns, or the fearsome Canterbury Blue Wiggles for a round? How about the Gold Coast Pikachus or the Port Adelaide Fairy Babies?

We need something to get the next generation of Aussies involved, they’re the future of the game!

Origin Round
This one is for the NRL only. How about, three times a year, we could have a round of footy where only the players from New South Wales or Queensland play against each other and no other matches are scheduled. We could ensure the match being played that weekend was the centrepiece of the code and no other club matches were affected by it.

Hell, if we’re being crazy we could even look at what other ‘Origin’ matches might work that would reflect the growing diversity of the player population in league these days.

Pretty wacky concept, they’ll never go for it.

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