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People who set up blind dates can get very smug. They get lured in by the idea that they are omnipotent master puppeteers pulling on the heart strings of two potential suitors.
Sometimes it is well intentioned and other times it comes from a selfish will to claim responsibility for something that is intangible. Invariably the two pawns maneuvered around the chessboard are doomed to end up in amorous stalemate.
Blind dates are just too much pressure. We do not like to feel out of control. We need to know as much about a person as possible.
What does she look like? Do you have a photo? What do you mean he has a great personality? Break down exactly for me what you mean by you’ll have a laugh for sure.
The day of the date we fool ourselves into thinking we know all there is to know about this person. All our preconceived notions are like a defence shield. Nothing will flummox us. No arrows will get through. We are in control. We are going to win this thing.
The crunch moment arrives. The opening exchanges. Nerves are blocked out. You put your best foot forward. You think you know me? I know all there is about you but you haven’t even scratched the surface with me. I am an enigma.
Meanwhile, the other person is staring back. Are my friends serious? This is their idea of an ideal companion for me? Are you kidding me, that’s how you’re going to eat with your fork?
When a rugby team goes out onto the field in the professional era, the opposition go in with the belief that they know everything about the opposition. They know what movies they like, how they look after themselves and their weaknesses as well as their strengths. They have more information at their disposal than an army of Wikipedia researchers.
There are times, though, where things do not pan out as they had been predicted. It provides an unsettling feeling. I really am going in blind with this thing. I do not recognise the person staring back at me.
When Handre Pollard spun the ball wide instead of kicking it, the New Zealand player did not expect it. They were caught napping when he attacked the line. He had broken down the infallibility of the intel. This was never mentioned by anyone.
In rugby, both teams are trying to play to their strengths. One team knows that the other team also knows this. They try to bend the other to their will. Getting your way, or at least having the perception that things are going to plan, is not necessarily a good thing.
Take the Pumas and their scrum. They love to scrum. They want to demonstrate their power. They are happy to absorb the opposition shove and demonstrate their power in the second shove. They will keep the ball in the scrum to prove that they are at their most comfortable and that confidence can be intimidating.
It can also be exactly what the other team wants. Scrumming is sapping. It drains energy like a call on a smartphone. The opposition know this. They want to keep the other talking as long as possible, knowing they will run out of power.
What good is demonstrating you are good at something if there is no perceivable gain in doing it? If Argentina are going to prove themselves in the scrum, they need to pick their moments more discernibly to do so. It is no good having a stable scrum only to kick the ball away. Clear that ball away quicker if that is your intention.
The Wallabies like to have their loose forwards range out in the backline. They are a good way of punching holes in the defensive line. They are also liabilities when it comes to the breakdown.
Michael Hooper may well be a free-range hen, but that means you have to have a few battery hens keeping the numbers up waiting for the free-range to lay the golden egg.
New Zealand like to keep numbers away from rucks to set up attacking pods. If they get quick ball they can exploit the open spaces. Various teams have shown what to do when you expect this. You get the right men disrupting ball and you cut the supply of quick ball, or even better you steal the ball.
South Africa had a reputation to kick under Heyneke Meyer. New Zealand appear comfortable when they know what to expect from South Africa. The games at Ellis Park show that when they do the unexpected – keep the ball in hand, attack the narrow defence with width – New Zealand are as fragile as any other team facing the Springboks.
We go on blind dates blinded by our preconceived notions. We cannot expect to know everything about a person but we fool ourselves that we know all that there is to know but this turns out to be exactly what the other person thinks about you.
They knew I was funny so I gave them funny. I was hilarious. They said she liked scuba diving. I talked for hours about that.
In our keenness to present our best side we fail to offer shade and depth to our strong features. Consequently, we come off as a caricature and the other person sees through us.
It is all well and good to have strengths. But in our eagerness to hide our flaws we lose sight of what we really are. Ultimately the other person comes away with a one-dimensional perception of who we are and fails to see the well-rounded person.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.