It’s time to admit you have a problem. You are a sports nerd.
Whilst others are cheering for Manchester United and Liverpool, you’re listening to updates from the Vanarama Conference.
Whilst many are huddled around the television for a summer of cricket, you’ve grabbed the radio and found an excuse to listen to ABC Grandstand.
You know what the blue line means in the NHL, as well as what compound of tyre relates to what colour in Formula One.
It’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with a sports nerd, but it is time to measure just how bad your condition is. Please accept the sports nerd Test.
We know you’ll answer them without checking, because you are a sports nerd, and you’ll demand honesty from yourself.
CRICKET
You prefer ABC Grandstand radio cricket coverage due to the dulcet tones of Jim Maxwell and the fact they have an international commentator, and that none of the commentators have the names Shane, Brett or Slater.
4 points
You have found a way of timing the digital radio online with the Channel Nine TV vision.
4 points
You really dislike Michael Slater’s and Channel 9’s overall commentary and have ranted for more than a minute on at least two or more occasions during the summer.
2 points
FORMULA 1
You prefer to watch live timing of qualifying sessions rather the TV footage, because you prefer to be able to see all the sector times for all the drivers at the same time.
3 points
You have watched live timing for any other session or have the live timing on a device at the same time as watching any session.
1 point per session. (P1, P2, P3)
You have paid for the overpriced official F1 App so you can keep an eye on where all the cars are on track during a race.
1 point
You can name every World Champion since 1950.
1 point
You paid for an Autosport.com subscription.
1 point
You watch any Grand Prix in full more than twice.
1 point
Watching sport on TV
You have paid for a NHL/MLB/NFL Gamecentre subscription
1 point per sport
You have watched the same regular season game twice, in its entirety, and your team lost.
1 point
You have tried for an hour to watch a live stream of a sport, and finally get one and the quality is barely better than a 2004 Nokia flip phone.
2 points
You watch the Saturday afternoon replay of the A-League on SBS
1 point
You watched any Super Rugby game.
1 point
You can sit through an entire NASCAR Race or 0-0 Football draw. No points if you consumed alcohol.
1 point
You have either recorded or downloaded a game/race and have avoided the result for over a week in a bid to watch it without knowing the result.
1 point
Watching football
You insist that it is not called Soccer but Football.
1 point
You think Soccer Saturday is the greatest TV program of all time
1 point
If you can’t get a live stream of Soccer Saturday you find the poor man’s (which is actually very good) version on LBC Radio from London.
1 point
You download Match of the Day 1 and 2, the Football League Show, and Soccer AM every week. Whether you get around to watching them or not.
1 point
You watch the 3pm UK Time kick off on Foxtel in split screen so you can keep an eye on four games at once, ensuring you flick between the most exciting passages.
4 points.
You also add the iPad and Mobile Foxtel Go for additional games not on split screens to ensure nothing is missed.
1 point
You went to a game of top level Australian domestic football before the A League started.
1 point
SUPPORTING SPORT
You have attended a Sheffield Shield game last season.
3 points
You have attended a Domestic One Day game.
1 point
You insist that your only game of cricket you go to in a summer is at Alan Border Field (or southern equivalent grassy hill playing field) because you want to sit on a grassy hill.
1 point
You have attended a lower division game of your choice – Qld Cup, NSW Cup, VFL, SANFL, TFL, WAFL, A League.
1 point
You have attended two or more.
3 points
You are one of the mad people or want to be one of the people who run out to celebrate with the winner of the Stawell Gift after significant investment.
1 point
You can name the following teams
***** Dolphins (Aust Baseball)
Canberra ****** (Aust Cricket)
South East ********* ***** (NBL)
North Queensland **** (A-League)
Gold Coast ****** (NRL)
Bundaberg ********* (Qld Rugby League)
Super ***** (F1)
********* Smash Repairs Car (V8’s)
******* Red Legs (SAFL)
******** and Redbridge (Football)
1 point each
Name the following sports stars
Rob ******* (Lawn Bowls)
Joyce ****** (Softball)
Noel ****** (Horse Racing)
Thierry ******* (F1)
Mark ***** (V8s)
Phil *** ******* SMYTH (NBL)
**** Hardy (AFL)
Francis ********* (NSL Soccer)
Zali ******** (Winter Olympics)
****** (Powerboats)
1 point each
Where in the world and in which division?
Teovil Town ______
FC United of Manchester _____
Guingamp _____
Elche _____
Grasshoppers _____
Workington Town _____
St Louis Cardinals ______
Baltimore Ravens _____
New Orleans Pelicans ______
Vancouver Canucks ______
1 point each
Commentators and their sports
David Croft _____
Tony Green _____
Phil Liggett _____
Anne Sargent _____
Darren McAuley _____
Rob Mundle _____
Mike Stephenson _____
Steve Carfino _____
Richard Swenson _____
Michael Bugger ______
1 point each
You
You have joined a sports forum and posted at least one opinion.
2 points
You are currently part of a Supercoach/Fantasy competition.
1 point
You are part of a Supercoach/Fantasy League of more than one sport.
1 point
You have started a sports website and/or blog.
1 point
You buy end of season reviews of sporting just to have the collection.
1 point
You buy any obscure sporting shirt that you find in an Op Shop just so you can own an obscure sporting team jersey. Like the Wrexham shirt I picked up for $3.
1 point
You have gone to a sporting event on Valentine’s Day, when you’ve had a girlfriend, and you didn’t take them.
1 point
You have moved family/friends functions or refused to go as it didn’t suit the sport you intended to watch.
1 point
You have 10 or more Sporting books or biographies.
1 point
How did you score?
0 – 5
Get out! You are no family assorted biscuit or a sports nerd.
You are the Richard Wilkins of sports fans.
6 – 20
Showing some early signs of sports nerd behaviour. You’re clearly keen on sport, you just need a little extra help and training.
You are the Max Verstappen of sports fans.
21-60
Starting to really feel the symptoms now. Your weekends are full, and you love it. You just need a little more hard work to get that gold.
You are the Martin Vinnicombe Medal winner of sports fans.
61-80
Some of your best work, you move your personal life to suit your sport. You dedicate your time to learning how to pronounce the Spanish La Liga teams correctly, and correct announcers who don’t. Even just to yourself.
You are the Miguel Angel Jiminez of sports fans.
81-100
People could argue you have no life, and you could argue you have just the best life.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.
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