In what is being described by experts as an unmitigated disaster, the Springboks suffered their first ever loss to Argentina last night in Durban.
An eerie silence settled on the stadium after the match, as dazed spectators were unable to process the hapless display from the Springboks.
Having lost 7 out of their last 11 international Test matches, the Springboks are in the midst of a complete tailspin only one month out from the World Cup.
Traffic leaving the stadium was at a standstill, as several crowd members were shocked into catatonic states. Emergency departments throughout the country experienced an influx of confused, unresponsive patients after the game concluded.
Dr. Joe Schoeman, an emergency physician in Durban, found it difficult to describe the situation. “In 20 years of practicing medicine I’ve witnessed some disappointing Bok defeats, but this has probably been one of the worst. I thought things were bad after the quarter final exit in 2011, but this one really hurt.”
Coach Heyneke Meyer made the baffling decision of splitting the successful midfield partnership of De Allende and Kriel in favour of including octogenarian Jean de Villiers. When asked how it feels to disappoint the entire country he couldn’t provide an articulate response.
Jean de Villiers entered the post match conference using a walking frame, and was initially distracted trying to replace the batteries in his earing aid. Similar questions were raised concerning the replacement of an in-form Jesse Kriel, to which De Villiers simply smiled and pointed at his functioning knee.
Outside the stadium, nine-year-old Suzie Oosthuizen was distraught and inconsolable. Her father, Gary, was at a loss for words. “We thought that watching the Boks play Argentina would be a great opportunity to see a victory. My daughter was very excited to see a win today,” he finished while staring absently into the distance.
South African fans now find themselves with the difficult decision of choosing another team to support in the World Cup. “A lot of us have family over in Australia and New Zealand. At this point Canada seems like a good team to support as well-they play with a lot of passion,” commented long time supporter Barry Venter. “I’m not even sure we will be able to make it out of the pool stages at this rate.”
Certain members of the rugby media have suggested that wholesale changes are needed at this crucial stage. Several high school teams have been put forward as suitable replacements, with Grey College and Affies first XV leading suggestions.
Speculation has been raised that Ruan Pienaar’s grandmother could replace him in the next clash in Argentina. Certainly, key changes will need to be instated within the Springbok camp, however a potential solution does not seem to be within grasp at this point.
Springbok supporters will have to resign themselves with accepting repeated losses, and instead focus on small victories such as the players not tripping off the bus and successfully tying their bootlaces.
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