In The Santa Clause 2, head-elf Bernard is reluctantly cajoled into convincing the elf workforce that the ‘Toy Santa’, created to give the real Santa time to find a wife before Christmas, is indeed the real Santa.
After giving a none-too-convincing explanation of why Santa looks different, Bernard finishes with: “So I caution you all not to point, or stare, or use the word plastic!”
Such a defence would not be out of place for the scale of the recent media coverage of what might be called Arthur versus Australia.
While there is no doubt that several Australian players had professional problems with him, and vice-versa, those problems did not extend into the personal sphere: Mickey Arthur is universally liked as a person, and has been remarkably generous in his appraisal of his former charges. And yes, the South African admitted during his recent press conference that “there is a part of me that’s coming back and wants to show [Cricket Australia]”.
Yet you could be forgiven for wondering why there seems to be so much focus on Arthur. Arthur won’t bat, bowl or field in the Test series. He is not Santa. The Pakistan team is. Arthur is the coach. The head of the support staff. Head Elf, you might say.
Viewed in isolation, heralding the return of an elf is surprising. But not when Santa is as unrecognisable to the average Australian sports editor and the average Australian sports fan as the Pakistan team is.
Brydon Coverdale is right when he says, “it is impossible to ignore the history (of Arthur and Australia)”, but ignorance of that history isn’t just impossible because of the value of that history. It is also impossible because the value of other history, namely Pakistan and Australia, has such low value, or is perceived to have such low value.
Think about the context to this series: Australia’s most recent clashes with Pakistan have been at World Cups – both T20 and ODI. During the One Day World Cup quarter-final, which was played at Adelaide, Wahab Riaz and Shane Watson had a thrilling encounter that is still fresh enough in the memory. But Watson’s retirement means the media can’t piggyback onto a renewed Wahab versus Watson narrative.
In Test cricket, the two teams haven’t faced each other in Australia since 2009-10. Soon after that series, the spot-fixing scandal came to light, but Mohammad Amir’s fall and return in Test cricket was in England. That’s not to say it will get no coverage in Australia, but the greatest value in that story was in the Old Dart.
The time between, Tests in Australia for Pakistan means that Misbah ul-Haq, who was one of the rank-and-file when Pakistan was last in Australia, has rebuilt the Pakistan team entirely away from Australian free-to-air television. Contrasted with Misbah and that story, Arthur’s return seems rather less compelling – if you think about it; if you trust your audience to think about it.
Younis Khan hasn’t played a Test in Australia since Cocky was an egg. Well, since January 2005. This is his last chance to make a statement Down Under. He must make that statement while age is showing signs of winning the battle. But Toy Arthur’s statement is obviously far more important than the statement that one of the best batsmen of a generation is seeking to make in Australia, even when the real Mickey Arthur insists that what happens on the field is most important.
Azhar Ali is the natural successor to Misbah ul-Haq and fast becoming one of the best batsmen in the world. He has just enjoyed an excellent start to his first Test tour of Australia, hitting 82 not in the second innings of the tour match against the Cricket Australia XI. Australian audiences are unfamiliar with Azhar Ali. What can we expect in the way of an introduction from the storytellers in the Australian media about how he bats? Bugger all on current evidence.
Pakistan has built a formidable record in their home away from home, and drew a series in England earlier this year, but does their recent series loss to England signal a permanent downturn in their fortunes or is it merely a temporary blip? Specialist cricket websites may approach that question – Ronan O’Connell, Scott Pryde and Julia Montesano already have for The Roar – but the Pakistan-centric stories more general newspapers have been delving into have been of the ‘Arthur back on revenge mission’ type. That headline comes from Ben Horne’s story, and his lead paragraph as published for News Ltd on Tuesday was this: “Mickey Arthur did his best to stress it’s not about him versus Australia, but a few subtle digs later and the gloves were well and truly off again.”
Maybe Ben, maybe. But only because he’s too honest to claim with a straight face that he doesn’t have hands. And frankly, while the Arthur story may be more familiar, that doesn’t mean it’s a more pertinent question than whether this Pakistan team, as reliant on Misbah and Younis as it is in the batting, is past its best.
The latter question decides the fate of this series, along with other related questions such as whether Pakistan’s below-par fielding will stop them from winning the series.
Later in the article, Horne adds: “In a cricketing sense it’s a fascinating battle between two teams that have both been No.1 in the world at some stage in this year, but now find themselves with it all to prove again.”
If you’re looking to find what Pakistan must prove again, as opposed to Arthur, you must travel all the way to the last paragraph of the article: “Arthur is under no illusions about the challenge his side faces on hard, bouncy Australian wickets, particularly after their disappointing performance against New Zealand.”
Not exactly fulfilling. Yet it does mean there is sufficient news to avoid proclamations of the death of Test cricket, or how day-night cricket will save Test cricket, until it is time to unfurl the previews.
Hopefully those articles won’t feature Arthur too prominently. That’s because I have pointed, stared and portrayed the media focus on Arthur as plastic for one simple reason. The Head Elf might be coming to town with Santa, but his presence doesn’t change the fact that people will still watch out, not cry, and not pout, for Santa Claus.
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