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What the EPL?: Angeball spurs Aussie sokkah takeover but $200m Moises has horror Chelsea debut in Hammers loss

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21st August, 2023
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This was a weekend where all eyes in England were on Australia, both for the Lionesses’ World Cup Final defeat to Spain and with Ange Postecoglou’s first win in the Premier League, with Spurs taking down Manchester United in the showpiece game of the weekend.

It was somewhat strange for the world biggest sports league(™) to take a backseat, but given events in the Women’s World Cup, it was certainly appropriate.

For the record, Manchester City kept their strong start going with a 1-0 win over Newcastle, Aston Villa bounced back from their thrashing at the hands of the Toon to deliver something similar to Everton, who are already looking like they might circle the drain again.

Liverpool beat Bournemouth, Forest nicked it late over Sheffield United, Brentford and Brighton both picked up wins and, on Sunday afternoon with everyone commiserating the Lionesses, Chelsea fell flat on their faces at West Ham. More on which later, but first: Ange. 

Angeball, baby 

If you fired up your Twitter first thing in the morning on Sunday you would have been greeted with a maelstrom of Spurs fans lauding the Greek god, the great saviour, Big Ange.

A 2-0 win at home to Manchester United will do that, and all power to Postecoglou’s elbow. Lads, it’s Spurs no more, right?

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Errrr…maybe. Ange’s first win in the Premier League was another back-and-forth, harem-scarem affair, which is to be expected given his current remit, which is to be fun and hopefully win. 

Last week’s draw with Brentford was an exercise in ideological purity, getting the players to trust the system and play to it at all times. This happened at Celtic, too, where square pegs were smashed into round holes until they fitted or, eventually, were replaced.

Football is a results business and, obviously, heavily subject to outcome bias. Ange won this week, but on another day, might have been 0-2 down at half time had United shown any sort of ability in front of goal.

Marcus Rashford missed plenty, Antony hit a post and Bruno Fernandes produced a shocking finish – a 50p head, to use the local Manchester parlance – to nod well over with the scores level. Fotmob had them at four big chances, all missed.

They might have had a penalty, too, as Cesar Romero paddled a shot clear with his hand but was not pinged by the ref or VAR.

Any of those go in and it’s a different story. But that’s life, and, indeed, football. Spurs will play better and lose this year, but this phase of the season is about changing the culture and making the fans believe.

The scenes that flooded social media show that it is happening already. All the other stuff – the actually being any good bit of football – will come. At the moment, it’s about being fun and a 2-0 win at home to United, however streaky, is a lot of fun.

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Where does throwing money at the problem stop?

There were metaphors aplenty on Sunday in London’s east, where West Ham beat Chelsea 3-1. A derby win for the Hammers was just the amuse bouche for the heavier issues, notably what money is in football, where it comes from, and what it gets you.

For the hosts, there was the sight of Lucas Paqueta lining up a penalty in his Betway sponsored jersey, with Betway plastered on every electronic surface, two days after he was charged over breaching betting codes and in a week where, prior to those charges, he might well have been the subject of a big money move to Manchester City. Subtle it wasn’t.

On the other side, Chelsea’s commitment to burning cash in a bonfire of defensive midfielders saw the world’s most expensive central midfield duo chasing shadows for the final third, with new man Moises Caicedo conceding the late penalty that Paqueta scored.

Chelsea absolutely dominated the first half, but conceded a header from a corner while missing their own opportunities.

For a side that hasn’t had a proper striker for years (yet still has Romelu Lukaku on the ever expanding books) it was remarkably similar stuff.

Nicholas Jackson might well come good, but it hasn’t happened yet. Mikhailo Mudryk sending a presentable back post volley so far wide it nearly went for a throw was a fair reflection of where the problem lies. He remains goalless since his move in January.

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West Ham’s business seemed a lot more joined up. James Ward-Prowse, the best set piece taker in the league, joins the team that only scores from set pieces and within ten minutes of his debut, sticks a corner onto a centre back’s head for a goal. Sometimes it’s not as complicated as it looks, this recruitment lark. 

Spare a thought too for professional gamblers Tony Bloom and Matthew Benham, owners of Brighton and Brentford respectively. Bloom must start flicking through luxury yacht catalogues every time he has a missed call from Chelsea chairman Todd Boehly. 

The Blues had Caicedo and Marc Cucurella on the bench plus Robert Sanchez in goal and half of their backroom staff all brought up from the Sussex seaside to Chelsea, with the thick end of $400m going the other way. 

Brighton planned, reinvested and are currently top of the Premier League with two four goal victories. Brentford are third with a similar business model.

It’s not that Chelsea should ape with those clubs do – they probably couldn’t anyway – but the widespread feeling that money=success is being disproved every week. 

Mauricio Pochettino’s goal has been to drastically cut the numbers in the Chelsea squad, add quality and impose a playing style. 76% of possession for three shots on target – one a missed penalty – tells you plenty.

It’s early days, but signs are that the people above him haven’t changed at all, and the results haven’t changed much either.

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