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Rower Sally Robbins is not ready ready to lay down her oars just yet, but she has finally tried to lay to rest the reasons for her dramatic mid-race collapse at the Athens Olympics almost four years ago.
Despite not being given the chance for personal redemption in Beijing, the 26 year-old – who will forever be known as “Lay Down Sally” after she stopped rowing in the middle of the women’s eights final at the 2004 Games – said today she still harbours hopes of Olympic gold.
But it was the past, rather than the future the Perth Olympian was finally keen to address in public, attempting an explanation for what happened in that final in Greece.
“This has been asked of me a lot in the last four years, and I hope this will be the final time it will be asked and everyone can move forward,” Robbins said.
“Rowing is a tough sport, the nature of rowing you are physically and mentally on the edge the entire race, and you aim to row your last stroke as you cross the finish line.
“Rowing is not like other sports. The exhaustion and pain you feel is actually created by yourself.
“In my personality I like to please others and try to do things beyond my capabilities. Outside of sport this is a generally seen as a really good trait, but in rowing it has proven to be my weakness.
“By trying to please others … I tried too hard and sometimes go beyond my capabilities.
“I push myself mentally and physically beyond my limits. There is only so much a human body can take.
“In going beyond my limits, I lose control of my decisions and my actions in the boat, and any athlete knows this is not a good place to be.
“Ultimately, going beyond my limits in the pressure of an Olympic final led to the collapse at the Olympic Games.
Robbins said she believed she had now made peace with her teammates from Athens, and with herself.
“In the past four years I have learned a lot about myself and a lot about the traits of my personality,” Robbins said.
“This has allowed me to understand what happened, allowed me to move on, to enter races with confidence and to race properly.”
Using her degree in journalism, Robbins pre-empted the questions she believed needed answering – but could not give any concrete answers on her future in the sport.
“To be honest I am not sure what the next step is … but I came back to rowing because I love it and it is my passion,” Robbins said.
“Being an elite athlete involves huge sacrifices, not only the ones I make, but sacrifices my friends and family have to make … I know it is a big decision, but I know I still have the desire to achieve my dreams.
What was sure was Robbins’ pain at missing out this year, as her voice cracked while explaining how it had felt to not be selected for the Australian double sculls crew.
“Obviously I am extremely disappointed I do not have the opportunity to represent my country … but I am proud to be an Olympian,” Robbins said.
“I love to represent my country and that is the hardest thing to deal with. But I feel I have succeeded because I faced my fears and my weaknesses, I understand what happened, and I am proud of my performance.
“I had every opportunity to prove myself and in the end it was really close, and I know that all the girls that made the team were deserving because I know how hard they have worked.”
And despite the constant attention her appearance at Athens brought her, Robbins said she would relish the chance to work in the media in Beijing if given a chance.
“That would be fantastic, and if I was asked I would definitely consider it,” Robbins said.