- Video
-
Club Roar
Captured a great grassroots sporting moment? We want to see it!Content Collections
The Roar Community
- Join
- Login
Things are still not back to normal at Round Review HQ this week after the Tigers’ miraculous win against the Storm. I’ll see if I can put my Rainbow Daiquiri down long enough to give you this week’s Round Review.
Broncos v Eels Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane Friday 7.35pm
Eels star, Feleti Mateo declared during the week that critics doubting his team’s commitment to their cause had no idea of the passion his team mates had for the club. It’s hard to disagree with Feleti’s claims that any of his team mates would die for the jersey. The way they have been playing, it seems most of them already have! Broncos by 30.
Rabbitohs v Sharks ANZ Stadium, Sydney Friday 7.35pm
Fans of the hit TV show, The Biggest Loser went into a donut fuelled frenzy during the week when the show was cancelled, effective immediately in controversial circumstances. When Network 10’s executives finally fronted the media, they declared that owing to the Sharks performances so far in Season 2009, there was no recipient more worthy of the ‘Biggest Loser’ title than the boys from the Shire. It’s gets no better this week, with the Rabbitohs sure to tell the Sharkies ‘It’s Time to Cut the Fat’. Bunnies by a mile.
Roosters v Dragons Sydney Football Stadium, Sydney (duh) Saturday 3.00pm
With the Roosters no chance in this one, and in the Spirit of ANZAC, this game will be decided by a game of two up, which the Roosters are no chance in either. Dragons by as many points as I will enjoy bourbons whilst yelling ‘Come in Spinner’ at my local RSL. Yes, that’s right. 2
Storm v Warriors Olympic Park, Melbourne Saturday 5.30pm
Melbourne’s entire Fan Club decided to show their support by waiting for the Team at Melbourne airport after last week’s loss to the Tigers. However, all three of these desperates were left puzzled when all that came through the VIP arrival gate were 16 crates marked ‘Pulp’, and one marked ‘Extra Soft’. When Fan Club President, Mr B.Andwagonjumper, made enquiries as to the whereabouts of his beloved Stormtroopers, he was told that the players had been so badly beaten by The People’s Champion that they were spooned into jars. packed into crates and shipped home. Cooper Cronk had such a torrid night, he got a special case all his own. The Purple Mexicans have vowed to be much better prepared for this game against the Almost All Blacks, with each player being presented with his own leather S & M bondage suit, in anticipation of the inevitable whipping they will receive. Cuzzie Bro’s by 40.
Cowboys v Eagles Dairy Farmers Stadium, Townsville Saturday 7.30pm
International tensions were heightened during the week with The United States accusing North Korea of further nuclear testing. Yankee officials were left red faced soon after however, when it was discovered that the explosion they were trying to pin on the Cuddly Communists was in fact Manly’s Premiership odds blowing out in the wake of Brett Stewart’s injury. Cows by 6.
Raiders v Bulldogs Canberra Stadium, Canberra Sunday 2.00pm
World Famous Comic, Jerry Seinfeld will make a one off appearance at Canberra Stadium before this game, a move that will generate enormous interest world wide. Despite closely guarding his list of material for the show, I have had an anonymous tip off, from a man who would only give his code name ‘Kramer Costanza’. He has revealed that The Funny Man’s first, and perhaps most hilarious, joke will be that Bulldogs’ hooker, Michael Ennis, is a chance of beating Robbie Farah for the NSW Number 9 jersey! Now THAT’s funny. Look for the Raiders will run away with this one, and that’s no joke.
Tigers v Knights Campbelltown Stadium, Sydney Sunday 3.00pm
In a Round Review exclusive, Knights management are attempting to sweep under the carpet an explosive discovery that threatens to derail the clubs impressive start to the season. Whilst taking a leisurely stroll through the streets of downtown Newcastle, one of our spies could barely believe her eyes when she saw Knights star, Kurt Gidley on a street corner holding a drum, with cymbals strapped to his knees, playing a harmonica. When asked why he was plying his trade as a busker, Gidley tearily replied that with the Knight’s financial troubles, he was forced to work a second job, and with so much experience as a one man band playing for the Novocastrians, he figured this was the next best thing. Gidley is more chance of winning an ARIA Award than he is of coming away from Campbelltown with the points. Tigers by 13.
Panthers v Titans CUA Stadium, Penrith Monday 7.00pm
New South Wales have finally hit rock bottom, with several Sky Blue-clad wannabes roaming Sydney’s streets offering ‘Every-Day-Joe’s’ a place in the Blue’s Origin squad. Round Review Ninjas subtly asked why they thought it would be a good idea to ask people off the street to play for their state, they calmly replied ‘If Mark Minichiello can get a run, anyone can’. Expect another ‘Origin Type’ performance from Anthony’s less talented brother, which should be enough to get the Panthers home. By 16.
Reckon you can pick the winning team? Build your own dream team with Draftstars daily fantasy and compete on any match. For great odds on the NRL head on over to PlayUp. Imagine what you could be buying instead. Set a deposit limit.