- Video
-
Club Roar
Captured a great grassroots sporting moment? We want to see it!Content Collections
The Roar Community
- Join
- Login
With news of Reni Maitua’s drug suspension circulating like wildfire, suspicions have turned to other NRL players and no club is under more scrutiny than the Broncos.
Drug testing authorities investigated several Brisbane players in the belief that they had been injecting horse steriods into their heads, which we at Round Review HQ think is purely logical, given the swollen nature of their noggans.
I hope that Panadol isn’t on the banned substance list, as the Nags will surely test positive for painkillers after the beat down the Tigers will give them in this one. Peoples Champion by 30.
Eels v Rabbitohs ANZ Stadium, Sydney Friday 7.35pm
Speaking of Reni and his Horsey-a-Go-Go juice, whilst many players were shocked to hear of the findings, Parramatta star, Nathan Hindmarsh has had his own theory for some time.
Apparently, whilst visiting Maitua’s home many years ago, Hindmarsh sat down on Reni’s couch, directly onto a syringe containing said Equine-Boosting liquid. Imagine Nathan’s surprise when his buttocks began to swell exponentially! Maitua assured Hindmarsh it was merely a coincedence, and his arse was merely expanding as a result of the Eel’s penchant for pies, but Hindmarsh knew better, and this week’s news just validates his theory.
Look for The Bottocks to swell a little further after the Rabbitohs are finish kicking it in this one.
Sharks v Dragons Toyota Stadium, Cronulla Saturday 5.30pm
One last word on ‘Reni-Gate’. With news that their star recruit had tested positive to performance enhancing drugs, Cronulla management immediately jumped to the defence of Maitua, stating publicly that even if he did take the drug, he shouldn’t be convicted, or suspended for that matter, because they obviously didn’t work! Dragons by 14.
Bulldogs v Storm Bluetongue Stadium, Gosford Saturday 7.30pm
A Melbourne grounds keeper was shocked to find two rather large bolts on the paddock after the Storms comeback drubbing of the Raiders last week.
After researching the source of the bolts, it was found that they had come loose and fallen from the neck of Franken-Slater, a new beast who was bought to life last week by Doctor McBellamy, to the horror of 17 unsuspecting victims in green. Look for this week’s sequel, ‘Hoffman, Bride of Franken-Slater’ to instill even more terror into the hearts of some blue and white yokels. The resurgent Storm by 20.
Panthers v Roosters CUA Stadium, Penrith Saturday 7.30pm
Yet again, Big Willie was in the news for all the wrong reasons this week after publicy relieving himself after a night out. I am not sure what all the fuss was about, as I feel the Roosters have far bigger problems. After all, Willie’s contract has pissed away any hope the Roosters have of being competitive in the next two years, but no one says a word about that! Panthers by 8.
Raiders v Warriors Canberra Stadium, Canberra Sunday 2.00pm
In an effort to inspire his ailing troops, Warriors Coach, Ivan Cleary arranged a mid week address from the New Zealand All Blacks for his side, in the hope that his boys will tap into what makes the Kiwi’s finest tick. It seems to be paying off already, with the Warriors walking taller, spruiking their superiority to all and sundry, and are favourites to win this match. All we need now is for them to be overcome by fear and get spanked by their opponent, and their graduation to All Blacks will be complete! Raiders by 18.
Titans v Eagles Skilled Park, Gold Coast Sunday 3.00pm
Manly halfback, Matt Orford has been booked for surgery on Sunday at 3.00pm on the Gold Coast to cure an ailment that has caused him serious physical defects for the past two weeks. Orford has been prancing around like a first grade footballer for a fortnight, and it is starting to rub off on his team mates, who have strung consecutive wins together. Well, it all comes to an end this week, when Orford goes in for his talent-ectomy under Dr Princey’s knife. The Ox should be back to his usual over rated self in no time. Titans by 19.
Cowboys v Knights Dairy Farmers Stadium, Monday 7.00pm
This was billed on the cover of Rugby League Week as an Origin preview. Until I read that, I had the Knights in a tight one, but if it is an Origin preview. Cowboys by 50.
Reckon you can pick the winning team? Build your own dream team with Draftstars daily fantasy and compete on any match. For great odds on the NRL head on over to PlayUp. Imagine what you could be buying instead. Set a deposit limit.