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Welcome to my Knightmare: those cliched headlines again

Wayne Bennett was unable to turn England's fortunes around.
Editor
4th January, 2012
14
1695 Reads

With the NRL season still 57 days away and the New Year only four days old, one of the most overused headlines in rugby league was peddled by the Sydney Morning Herald in an article by Craig Kerry.

“A hard day’s Knight as recruit Boyd settles in.”

Obviously the part of the headline concerning Darius Boyd is new to the equation, but the “hard day’s Knight” part has been getting space at the top of Newcastle-related articles since their inaugural season in 1988.

Couple it with “Knightmare” every time Newcastle either cop or dish out a flogging, and you’ve got close to 50 percent of all the Knights headlines the national papers have ever published.

Of course, Newcastle stories aren’t the only ones. Want to read about the Bulldogs? They’ll either be “In the doghouse” or “Top Dogs” depending on their weekend.

A comprehensive Melbourne win will be entitled “Storm warning”, while “Eye of the Storm” is bound to pop up more than once as you flick through the Monday morning sports pages.

Come State of Origin you’ll be sure to read how Brisbane’s “Baby Broncos” are faring without their stars, or following a win, they’ll be the “Bucking Broncos.”

If the Sydney Roosters suffer a blowout loss, they will be declared “Plucked!” Wests Tigers securing a big win against favoured opponents will see them come “roaring” into contention for the premiership, while a heavy loss will see them left “toothless.”

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In rugby union, Queensland will no doubt be “red faced” following a loss. St Kilda will “go marching in” more than once this AFL season. And we’ve already read – surely not for the last time – losses for Perth this A-League season under the banner “No guts no Glory.”

These are just the tip of the sporting cliché iceberg.

While sub-editors must thank God for the man who invented team names, don’t the general public get tired of reading the same headlines week in, week out?

Has anyone ever read the headline “Knightmare” following a big Newcastle loss and had a hearty chuckle, thinking, “Geez, that was clever.”

More to the point, does the sub-editor who placed it there honestly believe they’ve earned their wage that day by peddling the same old headline they used twice earlier that season and half a dozen times in the one preceding it?

Or do they watch the scoreline blow out and think smugly about what an easy day at the office it’s going to be – just give the story a quick once over and stick the go-to header at the top.

I’m not asking for Oscar Wilde-style witticisms at the top of my sports story, though something clever and original would be nice.

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Honestly though, failing that, an assessment of the game in less than ten words will do.

As for Darius Boyd’s first full training session with the Knights, perhaps nothing stories are allowed to be given lazy titles.

But if Darius has a game where he can’t make a tackle, catch a ball or throw a decent pass and it’s written up under the title “Hard day’s Knight for Boyd,” I’m going to be mad.

You’ll be able to read about it under the title “Ceriseblood boils.”

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