- Video
-
Club Roar
Captured a great grassroots sporting moment? We want to see it!Content Collections
The Roar Community
- Join
- Login
Last Friday I posted the 2013 Super Rugby Anchorman awards and now you’ve got a second helping – after all, a lot happened this year.
You’ve been holding your breath all weekend, and I know that’s a very long time to wait, so we’ll dive straight back into the glass case of emotion.
“I hate you Ron Burgundy! I hate you!”
Every great story needs a basic set-up. Wes Mantooth is used to set up the Anchorman story arch by teasing out the pride of Ron and showing us that is his major vulnerability. This is the beginning of the pride war over news primacy that foreshadows Ron’s hollowing out and inability to handle Veronica’s rise.
This year’s Super Rugby tournament was one of the great ones, and like Anchorman had an early match that was a signifier of what was to come.
The season started well, but it reached a new level when the Crusaders played the Stormers in Cape Town. It was the first time in the season a game had intensity that matched, and possibly exceeded Test rugby.
The Crusaders were good, but had started out of sorts and were away in South Africa trying to get their season started before it was too late. The Stormers were in the same boat and both sides combined in a match of rare quality.
It wasn’t a high scoring match but there was quality ball movement, defence, great kicking for field position and both sides worked out how to retain the ball as the game wore on.
Only the extra level of commitment and intensity prevented both sides from scoring more points, but it also indicated 2013 was going to be a year Super Rugby was going to be flat out from early on and it never relented from that point.
Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale’s vagina.
Ron and Veronica’s date-that-wasn’t-a-date included a moment of hilarity in which Ron tried to explain the origin of San Diego’s name. This ended with an awkward, “Agree to disagree”, from Ron when Veronica called BS on his explanation.
If there’s one thing that ended in an awkward “Agree to disagree”, moment this year it is this: Are the Brumbies an attacking team?
Oh yes, that doosie, debated and rehashed over and over all year.
On these forums 47 comment replies would end with an awkward unresolved position because it just truly depends on what angle you’re taking and how you’re willing to frame the argument.
Some who disagree will point to their incessant infringing, regular kicking and lack of touches for the wider men along with labelling them flat-track bullies.
Those in the affirmative will bring up their strong try-scoring record, Jesse Mogg’s influence with ball-in-hand and the ability of them to convert attacking positions into points.
I think we’re going to have to awkwardly agree to disagree on this one and move on now.
“I know that one day Veronica and I are going to to get married on top of a mountain…”
As Ron dreams of an idyllic future with Veronica, the Waratahs and Blues fan-bases will be dreaming of an alternate universe with their new coaches.
At the Blues, Sirs have done a substantial job of turning what seemed to be the black-sheep of the New Zealand franchises into a professional outfit with a future to look forward to.
That fan dream of future glory was helped by the quick start the Blues got off to last year; it was like the Brumbies Lite of 2012. They got out of the gate quickly and looked like a finals contender but faded as other teams worked them out and inexperience let them down.
With Sir John Kirwan and Sir Graeme Henry still exerting influence over the progress of the very young playing group here there is ample room for improvement and expectations to match now.
In Sydney, there isn’t a knighted saviour to call on but Michael Cheika has been a breath of fresh air around a club that had been going stale as a brand and rotting from the inside due to cultural stagnation.
2013 saw the Waratahs revamp their playing style to that of the modern 80-minute attacking mindset and change an insular and short-sighted culture into a positive, honest and future focused outlook.
Like the Blues, there will now be fans out there dreaming of “flutes and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs” at the end of a long, painful wait.
And non-believers won’t be invited.
“That’s how I roll.”
That’s what Jack Black The Bikie said as he kicked Ron’s dog off a highway bridge.
As the narrator ominously warned only seconds earlier, Ron’s life would change forever because he threw a burrito, leading to his dog getting kicked off a bridge.
Ron is late to the studio so Veronica is allowed to take over the anchor role for a night and does a great job, showing Ron isn’t irreplaceable.
Just a quick ‘what if’ rugby comparison: What if David Pocock hadn’t have been injured?
George Smith probably would have have been a nice footnote in a Brumbies very strong season if Pocock didn’t get injured and need a knee reconstruction.
But he almost certainly wouldn’t have had the opportunity to play enough to win the player’s player award for another year and write another amazing chapter in one of the best professional rugby careers Australia has seen.
Another aspect is whether Pocock might have been the game-altering disturbance he usually is in Test rugby. That’s the arena he constantly shines most in; the tighter, more confrontational nature of the game allows him to impact more rucks.
After losing the first Lions Test by a single kick it could be argued the presence of Pocock may have been enough to swing Australia a 2-0 series lead.
A truly fascinating ‘what if’?
“You play jazz flute?!”
The jazz flute scene when Ron takes Veronica on a date-that-wasn’t-a-date is fantastic.
From the “I didn’t come prepared”, line, as he pulls his flute out right through until the finish, it’s one of the strangest things you’ll see but you just can’t take your eyes away from it.
It’s one of the most underrated scenes in the movie, probably because it’s so early and gets forgotten.
There is a truly fantastic player that put in top shelf performances all year that I don’t think gets the level of credit he deserves.
That man is Adriaan Strauss.
It might be that the fact he plays on a South African team which means he’s not focused on by the Australian and New Zealand media, but this is the Internetz so we can ignore time-zones here and give the best hooker in world rugby the credit he deserves.
That’s what I believe he is anyway.
Strauss is an all-round player. His lineout throw is secure; his tackling is strong and at times devastating; he can hold up runners and for mauls; he plucks the ball out of the ruck and his running is second to none when it comes to front row forwards.
On top of all that Strauss began the season as captain of a team that hadn’t ever made it over the hump into finals rugby.
Overseeing the transition from also-ran to finals place is commendable on its own without being the best player in his position.
Well done, Adriaan. This Australian blogger noticed.
“Panda watch. The mood is tense. I’ve been on some serious, serious reports, but nothing like this…”
“Great story, compelling and rich.”
This is a subtle scene, but a smart little jibe at the media business. Brian Fantana is trying to make the fact a panda is pregnant sound important and worth thinking about more than just in passing.
Ron, in the host seat, goes along with it and tries to add some more weight to the segment.
It’s slick and it’s complete tripe. Just that no one is willing to call them on it because they’re the news and that’s what they’re allowed to do – tell everyone what’s what.
That happened this year in the case of James O’Connor being a Test quality fly half.
Robbie Deans decided that O’Connor would be picked in front of Quade Cooper, whether for rugby or personal reasons and the ARU kicked into overdrive to allow the promotion of O’Connor as a legitimate fly half at that level.
For the remainder of the Super Rugby season Fox Sports and newspaper journalists, for the most part, jumped on the O’Connor bandwagon.
There were suddenly deep-dive statistical arguments for O’Connor’s inclusion at 10 for the Wallabies, people were talking up the qualities that make him an excellent strike player instead of a facilitator like they could be twisted to prove the latter instead of the former as well.
The media posed a question, “Will O’Connor be selected over Cooper?”, so they could answer it themselves and be right.
Whether they did a statistical deep-dive or an eye-test argument depended upon their status as a reporter or commentator/opinion columnist.
Basically, no one was really willing to call BS on a question that was already answered long before it ceased to be asked and an answer that was never going to be as successful as everyone tried to make out.
“I’m going to punch you in the ovaries.”
“Jazz flute is for little fairyboys.”
I don’t know if you’re allowed to print those lines, but I just did.
When Ron and Veronica were verbally jousting after their first co-anchor dalliance it was obvious their relationship would going sour, the workplace would become toxic and it would affect everyone around them as well.
That’s the situation the South African Rugby Union has created for itself with the Southern Kings entrance into Super Rugby at the expense of the Lions.
Just last weekend the Lions finished off a home-and-home series with the Kings that was played to determine who would play with the big boys next year.
The Lions were the winners, on point total because the games came down one win each.
It’s a truly bizarre situation where the Kings have now played a single season of Super Rugby and are now dumped out. And it’s not even forced upon the SARU by SANZAR.
They’ve decided to implement a system where they are the only conference.
The Kings had a poor season according to the log but three wins and a draw away to an eventual finalist is nothing to sneeze at for a first year in.
Now they have to sit out 2014. Unbelievable.
Building that club for the future would be almost impossible.
You stay classy, San Diego.
That one’s for you Super Rugby 2013. You have, indeed, been very classy.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.