For all the wringing of English hands bemoaning an apparent lack of spine, Mitchell Johnson is making captaincy easy for Michael Clarke.
Minutes after lunch yesterday, improving on his bombastic performance in Brisbane, the man with the mo blew England away at Adelaide.
Johnson took five wickets for 12 runs in the space of 5 overs after lunch, ensuring England again failed to score more than 200 in this defence of the Ashes down under.
A defence that does not look like it has much longer to run.
Brisbane clearly was not an aberration: England were not prepared for a resurgent Mitchell Johnson on this journey.
Having bowled a triple-wicket maiden and being twice on a hat-trick yesterday afternoon, he ended with seven wickets for 40 runs from 17.2 overs, eight of which were maidens. England were bowled out for 172, 398 behind.
Johnson has taken 16 wickets in three innings at a mere 8.9 runs each so far this series.
Today he also reached 50 wickets against England for an average that has fallen by eight runs in the past sixteen days to 26.
If England did not rate him before flying south, they do not know how to face him now.
Stuart Broad had walked in with England at 117 for 6 and Johnson halfway through his post-lunch digestion.
Understandably (if you are English) hoping to break his momentum, or deceitfully like a pantomime villain (if you are Australian), Broad waited.
A metal bolt on the side of the Cathedral End sight screen was reflecting the sun behind the bowler’s arm.
It took seven minutes for the bolt to be covered and for Broad to face his first ball.
Not that it did the batsman much good. He walked across his stumps, trying to loft Johnson into the Eastern Stand and with perfect ignominy was bowled, leg stump pegged back, for a duck.
The bar below the Southern Stand was a hard place to be a tourist.
The third day of this Adelaide Test was one on which England needed to dispel batting concerns.
But things began badly when in the tenth over, after having faced 80 balls for 15, Joe Root took leave of his senses and tried to slog-sweep Nathan Lyon.
Off his first ball against the spinner Root was caught by Rogers at deep square leg.
Not five overs later, Kevin Pietersen sauntered down the wicket to Peter Siddle and clipped the ball straight to Bailey at midwicket, just as he had at Brisbane.
Collapses aside, Test matches are not saved by such recklessness or irresponsibility.
Bailey was one of two men there for just such a shot.
Siddle has now dismissed Pietersen more times in Tests than anyone.
This was the eighth occasion, during which time Pietersen averages 19.8 against him.
Michael Carberry was set on 60 when he succumbed to what was approaching a fifth maiden in a row and pulled a short ball by Shane Watson.
It would have eased a bit of pressure had it not been for an astonishing one-handed catch low to his left by David Warner at short square leg.
111 for 4 left the morning firmly in Australia’s hands and Ben Stokes, on debut, with a nervous seven minutes to face before lunch.
It was then than Michael Clarke and Mitchell Johnson were able to exploit England’s weakness.
Carelessness had gotten England there and to Johnson’s fast bowling, England had no answer.
It was Stokes’s dismissal, lbw Johnson for one immediately after the break that set the collapse in train.
Though initially given not out it became the first lbw of the series on review. Matt Prior, however, went for his fifth duck in 14 innings four balls later and England were 117 for 6.
Stuart Broad’s long first-baller came next.
While the dust was still hanging in the breezeless air following Mitchell Johnson’s spell, Australia wasted some time bowling short to Monty Panesar, who to his credit took it manfully.
Surely if there is a batsman who does not need intimidating into a bad shot, it is Monty Panesar?
It was not until Johnson was recalled and finally pitched one up to bowl him that England were all out.
At the other end for much of this drama, witness to his increase in workload and solitariness, was Ian Bell.
Ending on 72 not out, he looked the only England batsman to be playing on the same pitch as Australia had batted on.
He took Ryan Harris for four fours in one over putting the rest of the innings into an unpalatable perspective.
At the spiritual home of the world’s greatest ever batsman there were more England flags than runs on the third day.
Michael Clarke chose not to enforce the follow-on to give his bowlers some well-earned rest and also to tire England’s further.
The third Test starts in five days. His batsmen heaped 132 more runs on before the close, leading by 530 effectively for 3.
Warner, 83 not out overnight, will be allowed to get his second ton of the series this morning and then England will have the best part of five and a half sessions (or 11 hours) to grasp at a draw.
Nothing so far this series indicates England will manage this.
“If we can get a couple of guys to get hundreds under their belts we can take this close,” said Ian Bell forlornly last night.
With collective scores peaking at nine, England’s middle order cannot be relied upon.
The last time England were here, in 2010-2011, they won 3-1, each of those victories coming by an innings. And despite those commanding performances they still lost at Perth in four days.
Defeat here, therefore, would seem to guarantee the Ashes will be Australia’s by Christmas.
This does not look like the first England team to win them coming back from 2-0 down.
The last time England were in this series was the first day at Brisbane.
They will not win any Tests at all if they carry on as they have been. Australia winning all five is very possible unless England do something that by implication exposes how unsuitable their initial plans were.
With each passing session the possibilities of redemption slip ever further away.
The scale of their requirement is sliding from the implausible to the impossible.
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