Chelsea’s Phar Lap-like romp to the title last season was eerily reminiscent of when Chelsea romped to the title during Jose Mourinho’s first title in charge. Fancy that.
The Premier League gets called lots of things, and the second-most popular thing (after ‘English’) is some variation of ‘greatest league in the world’.
The main idea behind that saying is the notion of competitiveness, which admittedly isn’t as popular outside Anglo countries as it is inside Anglo countries.
Sure, there might be a lot of jostling between the bottom teams to beat the drop, and good teams to get into the Champions League, but competitions are made to be won.
For all of last season, except around Christmas when Manchester City got themselves in order for a bit, Chelsea were streets ahead of everyone. And just like the early Mourinho years, it was bloody boring (although Chelsea fans would have had a fun time).
The Manchesters and Arsenal have all strengthened their squads, while Chelsea have so far tip-toed around the transfer window (they probably don’t have to do a thing to their squad).
Things like vengeance and managerial competence should hopefully see a multiple-horse race. The clubs probably also owe their television overlords a title challenge to give them must-see far.
TV money making moneybags out of paupers
First came Roman Abramovich, then came the rest… Aaaand then came Sheikh Monsour. Now everyone’s in on it.
This year is the first year of a new television rights deal; Sky and BT have paid around £5 billion for new TV rights for three (3!) years. That’s $AU10 billion.
This has meant oodles of simoleons for everyone, but mainly the little clubs. This isn’t just a cash injection; the moneybag truck has backed up and the clubs are having the good stuff hooked up to their veins a la Barney Gumble.
Crystal Palace, most notably, have slapped their own bulging brown sack with a dollar sign on the negotiating table to convince Yohan Cabaye – France international, formerly of Champions League quarter-finalists PSG – to skip over to London for a club record fee and a reported £100,000 per week pay packet.
Arguably, the impact of this ludicrous amount of television rights lucre will be fully realised in the long-term, or at best, in the mid-term. Some clubs, like Everton have already done, will put the money (at least around an extra £40 million a year for the least popular club, before venue fees are calculated) towards servicing debt or other long-term endeavours, for instance improving their youth setup or scouting networks.
The transfer of Cabaye and others, like Angelo Ogbonna (West Ham) and Andre Ayew (Swansea), to mid-table sides indicates that with an influx of money that gazumps even the top European clubs (PSG, Juventus and Marseille in this case), the Premier League may achieve a parity that centralised leagues with drafts and salary caps have always been looking for.
A big year for synergy and other wanky managerial speak
Some people have said somewhere on the internet that Brendan Rodgers is the favourite bet to ‘win’ the sack race. The Liverpool manager sure does have a task on his hands to salvage his reputation, and he’s probably happy that his side’s first game is against Stoke, an immediate chance of revenge.
Having sold his best player and bought a load of new ones with the proceeds, Rodgers has in that regard had the same summer twice in a row. However, this time he’s escaped the sack and promised he’ll right the ship he wronged last season after righting it the season before that.
In failure or success, this year is not only a crunch year for Rodgers’ Liverpool stint, but also for his career. If he fails, he’ll be seen as the man who rode the coattails of Luis Suarez’s magical form.
Over the other end of Stanley Park, Roberto Martinez finds himself in a similar position, having one good and one bad season with Everton. This upcoming season, good or bad, will also tellingly reveal his managerial ability (although to be fair, his pedigree does include an FA Cup win, playing attractive football with some ugly players at Wigan).
Tim Sherwood faces his first full season with Aston Villa, where he’s sold Christian Benteke and brought in three Jordans, while Claudio Ranieri has a reputation that rests on his time at Chelsea before he was shoved out for Mourinho. He’s had about half a dozen gigs since then, been sacked in all of them, the lowpoint being his guiding of Greece to a home loss against the Faroe Islands (his successor lost his first game away to the same team, so maybe it wasn’t Ranieri’s fault after all).
Meanwhile, Jurgen Klopp and Pep Guardiola have nothing in their diaries yet planned for the 2016-17 season. The boards of any major club already have a choice of two rather tantalising big-time managers to install in case of a poor showing this year, with Rodgers and Manuel Pellegrini probably the most at risk.
Not much hope for Norwich
A young, upcoming Scottish manager. Norwich. Promotion. A fairly average playing group. The Premier League has been here before… And it’s here again.
Instead of Paul Lambert, it’s Alex Neil who has got the Canaries into the Premier League in his first go, and this will be his first full season in charge in Norfolk.
That sort of experience, though, has shone fiercely in the £7 million signing of Robbie Brady from Hull. The Man United reject has cost more than the following players: Gerard Deulofeu, Nani, Robin van Persie, Tom Ince. Run through their player list, and combining that with the managerial inexperience, doesn’t really set Norwich up for a successful top-flight season.
Of the other promoted sides, Bournemouth look a good hand at being a south coast Swansea and staying up in their first season in the top-flight ever.
Watford, who have seemingly replaced their solid oak entrance with an automatic revolving door, have a litany of solid internationals in their squad, but instability (Quique Sanchez Flores is their 37th manager in the last two weeks or something) is never a recipe for success. Unless you’re Kanye West.
It doesn’t look rosy either for Leicester, the only promoted side from last season to not go straight down (to refresh memories, they were joined on the up by QPR and Burnley). Other than Ranieri, there’s no Cambiasso, and Nigel Pearson bearing the sins of his son (caught up in an orgy ordeal during the club’s trip to Thailand) doesn’t really reflect well on the board.
Man United, whatever happens, will be a load of fun
When David Moyes was around it was pretty much a disaster, even if regarded in hindsight fairly, his reign really wasn’t. That sentence doesn’t make the best sense, but hey, what’s done is done.
After that season, Patrice Evra and Nemanja Vidic upped sticks, Louis van Gaal swanned around seductively with the Dutch at the World Cup, before the hype train rolled out and spectacularly failed even as early as the first game of the season (the 3-0 loss to Swansea at home, remember?).
Radamel Falcao, the back three, Angel Di Maria, that Leicester game; last season certainly had its thrills, but this summer has seen Van Gaal replace the rotting wood, patch the holes in the sails, and various other things sailors would do in a dry dock if they had a chance to in this extended metaphor.
However, even though the Red Devils’ squad has seen its share of rather sexy transfers (Bastian Schweinsteiger anyone?), they’ve so far won the transfer window, and will win it if they keep David De Gea.
If the club reaches the potential that their personnel register screams, or fails as so many weary middle-aged English football fans wish for in their dreams, entertainment will explode out of the Premier League screens.
Even if they revert to their most boring form – smashing everyone that comes their way on the road to an easy title – at least they’ll give Chelsea (and probably Man City and Arsenal) a title challenge.
Personal, pint-sized predictions
Keep in mind that there’s still three weeks left in the transfer window, and there’s every chance that Liverpool will spend £35 million on Andy Carroll again.
Winner: Man City (if Sergio Aguero stays fit)
Champions League places: Arsenal, Chelsea, Man United (no one else is good enough)
Relegated: Aston Villa, Leicester, Norwich (too many new players, rubbish manager, no Cambiasso, rubbish squad)
Golden Boot: Sergio Aguero
Best player: Sergio Aguero
Best young player: Raheem Sterling
Best signing: Petr Cech
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