Australia headed to Port Elizabeth 3-0 down in the five-game series and desperate for a win. They left there even more desperate for one.
Here are the ratings from the fourth ODI between South Africa and Australia.
Team selections
Grade: A
Captains Steve Smith and Faf du Plessis reconvened at the toss, which Smith once again won. Smith chose to bat first, and announced the changes to the team. “A scarecrow comes in for Tremain,” he declared. “Worrall makes way for his own shadow. And George’s border collie Millie replaces Boland.”
South Africa, on the other hand, had moved to a whole new level. Up 3-0 in the series after three games, they decided to take pity on the Australians, bringing in Tabraiz Shamsi, Kyle Abbott, Aaron Phangiso and Farhaan Behardien to replace David Miller, Dale Steyn, Kagiso Rabada and Imran Tahir.
Quality piss-taking from the South Africans.
Australia’s batting
Grade: F
The Australian batting was under immense pressure. Having failed to defend 371 in their previous match, they knew they had to score even more this time around. Which essentially meant if they didn’t hit the first ball of the innings for at least six, they’d be irredeemably behind in this match.
With the first ball failing to clear the conceptual pickets, Aaron Finch resorted to the next best tactic, allowing himself to be bowled by Abbott from the third ball of the innings to get Australia’s two century-makers from the previous game in as soon as possible.
This plan didn’t work as well as hoped either, with Abbott also bowling David Warner in his next over. The South African medium-fast bowler looked extremely dangerous, eventually taking 4/40, raising questions as to why he’s not a regular first XI player for South Africa. Sadly for him, he just doesn’t get to play Australia often enough to justify it.
Nevertheless, after fifteen overs, Australia found themselves 5/49. On the plus side, they were playing their natural game, which I know is extremely important to them. Even if their ‘natural game’ increasingly seems to be something resembling Jenga. (Click to Tweet)
Australian Survivor
Grade: D
But perhaps I’m being too harsh. Perhaps the Australian batsmen had noticed the time zone difference and were taking pity on any fans who might have also been interested in watching Australian Survivor. Their brave attempt to be bowled out in the half hour between the ODI starting and the Australian Survivor episode starting didn’t quite succeed. But it was close enough.
By the time Jennah-Louise had been predictably voted out by her tribe, Mitchell Marsh and Matthew Wade had put on a fifty partnership. Easily the greatest Marsh-Wade effort since that time Aragorn and the four hobbits trudged through the Midgewater Marshes on their way to Rivendell.
Matthew Wade’s elbow
Grade: C
Unfortunately for the Australians, the Marsh-Wade partnership didn’t have the staying power of even one of the Peter Jackson Hobbit movies, with Marsh departing for an even fifty with the score on 111.
But not before Wade had managed to charge a single straight at Shamsi, elbowing him in the process. Presumably, this was the South African’s fault – for how long are these poor, mild-mannered Australian batsmen supposed to put up with being so easily defeated by these strutting South African second-tier bowlers?
Eventually, the umpires were forced to step in and warn both players that this kind of behaviour was unacceptable. A bit of a blow to Wade, who had planned to escalate this whole thing into a recreation of the Crazy 88 fight scene in Kill Bill following Marsh’s dismissal.
Chris Tremain
Grade: B+
With John Hastings and Adam Zampa failing to hang around, it was left to Chris Tremain to help Wade salvage the innings. The thinking was surely that if Australia could somehow scramble to 160-170, then Starc could still wreak havoc.
Not in this game, obviously. But back at home on Call of Duty 3, or whatever it was he was playing on his Xbox last night.
Luckily, it turned out Tremain had actually secretly been a batsman all along, making 23 not out off 28 balls to help guide Australia to 167 all out.
One of my absolute favourite things in ODI cricket is when the first team is bowled out so quickly the second team has a mini-session to bat. Australia had managed this here, and in that mini-session Tremain also dismissed Hashim Amla and Quinton de Kock, giving the Australians the faintest chances of victory as they went to the scheduled break.
Could Chris T be their saviour?
Atheism
Grade: B
Nope.
After lunch, South Africa ran down the runs with six wickets and approximately a zillion balls to spare.
A comprehensive mental victory. Australia’s sole excuse for their incompetence this series so far had been that their second-string bowling attack. So South Africa put in their second-stringers and still thrashed them. Now, that’s quality mental disintegration.
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