I’m a Tiger on the brink, but I can still wittle out The Round Review!
Roosters v Titans Bluetongue Stadium, Gosford Saturday 5.30pm
The Roosters have shown no signs of being impressed with Wicks’ bits and pieces rearrangement, stating in a press conference yesterday that no one has even noticed that all their players have had similar procedures before the season started. I guess we should have known, the Poultry Foul have been playing like a bunch of girls all season! Nothing changes here, Titans by 20.
Panthers v Eagles CUA Stadium, Penrith Saturday 7.30pm
As a tribute to the many Women who contribute to this great game, Round 14 is being billed as ‘Women in League Round’ and there is no bigger statement being made than the Panthers wearing pink jerseys for this clash against the Eagles. Matt Orford was left red faced after asking how he would be benefiting from the promotion, only to be told that nothing was being done for him as, although he may have been playing like it for his entire career, he’s not actually a Woman. No surprise for me, it’s common knowledge that any Woman would play harder than The Ox, isn’t it?….Panthers by 30.
Rabbitohs v Storm Members Equity Stadium, Perth Saturday 7.30pm
Craig Wing caused yet more controversy during the week with reports circulating that he was set to walk out on the Bunnies to rejoin the Chooks. This has caused outrage amongst Red and Green desperate, but really, who could blame the guy? Playing with a team of some ability and containing some real talent was just too far out of Wingy’s comfort zone….so the only logical solution was to be around his fellow over rated, over paid, underperforming peers. What better place than the Chook pen? After this one, Bunnies fans will be hoping he walks out sooner rather than later. Storm by 50.
Raiders v Sharks Canberra Stadium, Canberra Sunday 2.00pm
In a decision that has left players within the club with long faces, Sharks CEO, Tony Zappia stood down during the week amid sexual harassment allegations. The Sharks will run out in honour of The Zap Zap Man on Sunday, and what better way to pay homage to the man than by asking the Raiders to give them a spanking? I am sure the Raiders will accommodate their request.
Dragons v Cowboys WIN Stadium, Wollongong Sunday 3.00pm
Dragons dinosaur, Wendell Sailor can’t keep himself out of the headlines at the best of times, and this week was no different. ‘Big Dell’ was arrested during the week for grievous bodily harm inflicted upon the Queensland Origin selectors. Police reports suggest that after hearing Sailors comments that selectors would be better suited picking Cowboys’ injury prone bag of money, Willie Tonga, instead of himself for Origin II, and realising he was serious in thinking he was hope of being picked, the entire panel burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter and choked. Thankfully they are all ok, and will be on hand to take in this clash, but after watching Sailor’s latest performance I think the panel could be in danger of déjà vu. Cows by 18.
Eels v Tigers Parramatta Stadium, Parramatta Monday 7.00pm
No one cares about this match, least of all Eels or Tigers fans, so just for fun, officials from both clubs have agreed to have the match played whilst the theme from ‘The Benny Hill Show’ plays over the Stadium’s PA system. Quite fitting for these two clubs really. Look for the Tigers to avoid the chasing, the precariously placed fountains, the inappropriate innuendo and emerge unscathed with their first victory in 6 weeks. if not, this may be the last Round Review you ever read (stop cheering, I can hear you!!!)
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