Rabbitohs Vs Eels ANZ Stadium, Sydney Friday 7.35pm: Several calls were made to the State Emergency Service, Police, Fire, Ambulance, the Bomb Squad and The Wiggles this week to report a strange odour coming from the Parramatta area.
Authorities were at a loss to explain the source of the pungent aroma, that was until they walked in a Parramatta Eels training session. It all became clear from that point, although Police reported thinking that although they knew the Eels’ stank in 2009, but they didn’t realise it was THAT bad. Bunnies by 18.
Broncos Vs Storm Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane Friday 8.35pm
All the attention has been on Bronco star Karmichael Hunt this week, with the club withdrawing a reported 1.3million dollar offer due to ‘Special K’s procrastinating. Most people are aware of the interest in Hunt from Japanese Rugby, and it is one lucrative offer in particular that has caught his eye. Round Review reporters have confirmed that Hunt will accept an offer to turn out for the Yoshigaia Over Rated Has Beens as their mascot. Storm in a tight one.
Dragons Vs Titans WIN Stadium, Wollongong Saturday 5.30pm
ASIO fielded hundreds of calls from the Melbourne area last weekend as scared residents reported apparent UFO sightings. Unable to piece the puzzle together, the Aussie’s called in the big guns at NASA to find out just what was flying through the air. The mystery was solved when Jamie Soward landed in a downtown Geelong backyard, finally coming to earth with a thud after being launched by Greg Inglis on Friday night. Soward will take his place in the Dragons line up for this one, but Luke ‘Bull’ Bailey has a plan to send him back into orbit. Titans by 6.
Panthers Vs Bulldogs CUA Stadium, Penrith Saturday 7.30pm
I caught the first plane to Belmore (yes, they have an airstrip in Belmore, most disaster zones have them) to see the Bulldog’s latest big name recruit, Greg Eastwood strut his stuff in his new colours. As I walked towards the ground, I noticed an enormous, inflatable sombrero had been erected over the Bulldogs’ training pitch! After thinking to myself ‘Hey, they won last week, so this isn’t the weirdest thing to have happened around here of late!’, my curiosity got the better of me, and I quizzed rookie Coach, Kevin Moore on exactly why there was a huge hat covering the place. ‘Well’, Kevin Said, ‘That’s our salary cap, it’s the only thing big enough to fit all these players under!’ Dogs by 24
Cowboys Vs Tigers Dairy Farmers Stadium, Townsville Saturday 7.30pm
In a coup for the Cowboys, front row enforcer, Carl Webb looks set to become a Milkmaid for life after signing a lucrative third party agreement with, of all sponsors, Universal Studios. Apparently, after watching Webb’s clumsy, mistake riddled performance last week against the Nags, Universal’s boffins were falling over themselves to sign Webb to a multi-million dollar deal to star in the big-screen adaptation of Mr Magoo! Old Charlie will no doubt put in another Oscar worthy performance this week as there’s no way he’ll see the Tigers running rings around him!
Raiders Vs Roosters Canberra Stadium, Canberra Sunday 2.00pm
In an attempt to cash in on the NRL’s popularity, Channel Nine were ready to launch a new program called ‘Who Wants to be a Roosters Fan?’, which was supposed to go live to air following the Roosters match with the Rabbits last week. The plan was subsequently scrapped on the spot when not a single contestant could be found. I would suggest they don’t bother looking for possible entrants this week either. Raiders by plenty.
Eagles Vs Warriors Brookvale Oval, Manly Sunday 3.00pm
If you’ve ever been to Brookvale, you’ve no doubt experienced ‘The Cage’, the antiquated mesh structure that the players run out of onto the field. Many opposition players reportedly feel somewhat intimidated by ‘The Cage’ and the rabid spectators clambering all over it before kickoff. Manly have taken the unprecedented step of covering the entire grandstand, and all corporate sponsor facilities in the same, impenetrable mesh ‘The Cage’ is made from. When we spoke to feuding owner, Max Delmege about the upgraded security, he responded that with Watmouse unleashed on the field, the sponsors were much safer behind a cage. Let’s hope the only slapping Choc does this week is high fiving his team mates. Eagles to bounce back in a tight one.
Sharks Vs Knights Toyota Stadium, Cronulla Monday 7.00pm
Brett Seymour and his history of off field indiscretions reared its ugly head this week, with the Sharkies’ playmaker apparently being forcibly removed from a Cronulla nightspot in the wee hours of Monday morning. I have had my Ninjas investigate these allegations and it seems that Brett was on his best behaviour all night. That was, until he was overheard spruiking to several patrons about being a first grade footballer, at which point he was promptly removed from the premises. When quizzed on his actions, the bar manager revealed that Seymour was obviously terribly drunk, as even Brett himself would never consider himself a First Grade footballer if he was sober! Thankfully, the Sharks do have some real bone fide players in their squad, which is enough to get over the Knights.
Reckon you can pick the winning team? Build your own dream team with Draftstars daily fantasy and compete on any match. For great odds on the NRL head on over to PlayUp. Imagine what you could be buying instead. Set a deposit limit.
Having referees perform as robotically as the players might be a solution to the problem of decaying respect for officials in the NRL.
As a fan of rugby league, I don't want to see foul play incidents happen in the game...but I also don't want to see matches played without a contest.
With the HIAs and independent doctor, the game has evolved, from the four forwards or a utility on the bench - and a specialist outside back is needed.
A hat-trick in Game I says he's an absolute lock!
Got him! After the Dolphins beat Cronulla 30-28 at Shark Park, the Channel Nine team relived Cam Smith's first sin bin, which happened at…
Nicho Hynes’ State of Origin hopes have taken another hit with the halfback below his best as the Sharks suffered an upset loss to…
