In a lot of ways, Tom Waterhouse is reminiscent of George W Bush. You start with the surface stuff – the swagger, the smug grin, the just plain annoying way they talk and the smutty jokes both men’s surnames lend themselves to.
But toilet gags aside, let’s delve deeper in to the Waterhouse and Bush names and the legacy they carry in their respective fields.
Tom Waterhouse is the son of horse trainer Gai and bookmaker Robbie Waterhouse.
Tom’s paternal grandfather, Bill Waterhouse, known as ‘King of the Bookies’, was once the world’s largest bookmaker and learnt his trade from his own father – Tom’s great grandfather – who was the first Waterhouse to earn a bookie’s license all the way back in 1898.
Tom’s maternal grandfather, meanwhile, was famed trainer Tommy Smith, for whom the TJ Smith Stakes at the Sydney Autumn carnival is named.
For a little added history, the 2013 TJ Smith saw Black Caviar claim her 15th Group 1 victory, breaking the previous record of 14 which was held by Kingston Town – a horse trained by Tommy Smith himself.
Racing and gambling is – as Tom says in his ads – in his blood.
George W Bush became known by his middle initial because his predecessor’s predecessor as President of the United States of America was another George Bush – George HW Bush, W’s father.
HW’s father – W’s grandfather – was Prescott Bush, who spent over ten years in office as the United States Senator for the state of Connecticut.
Prescott’s father, Samuel Bush, was primarily an industrialist who built the family’s name and fortune but also served a number of political appointments during his lifetime.
Politics was very much in George W’s blood (still is, what with him being alive and all).
So both men are likely to cop barbs about their place in the world being gained through family connections rather than their own intelligence and hard work. This is a line hard to argue against.
The easiest way to make a million dollars is to already have a million dollars and while this applies literally to both Waterhouse and Bush, the clout and currency attached to both men’s family names was another million they both already had as well.
Tom’s father and grandfather both taught him the trade of bookmaking, and doubtlessly his mother was more than happy to assist with her own vast knowledge of the sport of kings. Tom’s career path in bookmaking was never going to be a struggle.
Without getting any more political than this already is, George W’s entire life was seemingly mapped and smoothed out for him by his father and a variety of close political allies.
But while they both had their privileges and power given to them, they could both have turned it down if they didn’t want it.
They were never going to want for money, women or fame with the names on their birth certificates but both men decided to take the name and make it their own.
And that’s when people started to turn on them them.
George W Bush is regarded as the worst President of the United States of the modern era and it’s only a lack of knowledge of the majority of the 40-odd men who preceded him in the Oval Office which stops most people from calling him flat out ‘worst ever’.
Tom Waterhouse meanwhile is on every single TV screen in Australia 24 hours a day (if you believe everything you read). He leaches off the poor and problem gamblers to make money and gets to pretend to know about footy because he paid some obscene amount of money to Channel Nine. (Despite admitting he “doesn’t know how they take those hits.”)
And here’s where the comparison really becomes apparent.
Because while America bombed Iraq and New Orleans was left for dead by Hurricane Katrina, Bush was denounced by every American you met or saw on TV.
So why did they vote for him?
In a democracy, such as America, if you don’t like your leader, you don’t vote for them.
I’ve read Michael Moore and the ‘2000 election theft, Florida, hanging chad’ brigade probably have a point, but Bush’s election in 2004 – after the invasion of Iraq – was close but clear cut. He won.
Likewise, as Tom invades our airwaves like a young Eddie McGuire, the mainstream media, internet chat boards, Facebook and I daresay your average punter in the street decries what a low-life pest he is.
So why do you give him your money?
In a capitalist society, such as Australia, if you don’t like someone’s business practices, you don’t give them your money.
Sure Tom Waterhouse has ads all over TV and gets to slyly spruik himself as a commentator when all he’s really doing is advertising his bookmaking business, but how the hell did he get the money to pay Channel Nine the reported $50 million it cost for his position?
Family gets you so far, but it can’t get over 60 million people to vote for you nor will most give 50 million dollars to a TV station for you. You do that on your own.
I’m not proposing a boycott of Tom Waterhouse. I’m simply suggesting if you don’t like the bloke, don’t gamble with him.
Just as there’s always someone else to vote for, I promise there’s always someone else to give your money to.
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